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View Diary: I Support Traditional Marriage (99 comments)

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  •  I think it depends on whether they've learned (1+ / 0-)
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    Elizaveta

    anything from their previous disasters.

    My father's been married three times.  The first two marriages ended in divorce, but he got it right with his third marriage.  And a lot of that is because he looked at why his first two marriages failed, what he really wanted in a partner and what he needed to be himself to be a good partner.  (His wife has also been divorced once, as it happens, and also used that as a learning experience.)

    But I definitely know people who are the opposite - they haven't learned anything and they repeat the same mistakes, from the type of person they marry to how they act in the relationship.  My mother also has married three times (so far), and all three marriages ended in disaster because she is a trainwreck of a person who marries enablers.

    •  Unfortunately, I see the repeated (0+ / 0-)

      failures, with only occasional successes.

      My aunt married three times, and her third time really has been a long-enduring charm.

      But for everyone else, the repeated marriages seem to point to insecurities and the inability to internalize lessons learned coupled with hoping the next time will simply be better (easy to believe in the beginning of a relationship when everything is rosy - or, at least, more familiar, so more comfortable, than being alone and feeling like a failure -- plus, every new marriage brings new attention from friends and family - negative and positive - and sometimes dishonestly positive on the wedding day in the face of the new couple) .

      Relationships and marriages are complicated, and really difficult to get right - even more difficult to adjust your outlook and your definition of "getting it right." That's often the key to success in many things.

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