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View Diary: I Support Traditional Marriage (99 comments)

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    I just - I don't agree with you that tolerance or acceptance needs to be so central for me and my mate. I'm glad your approach works for you and your wife (I'm taking your word on that). I find it seriously problematic - and also quite patronizing - that you seem to be putting your approach forward as the standard that I and presumably others should adopt. Speaking for myself and my relationship I can say: You really aren't the standard for me/us. We are different from you.

    I wonder if you downplay the importance of understanding differences because you simply don't have the will and/or capacity for what deep understanding can be and mean in a relationship. In this interaction with me, for example, you have shown yourself quite resistant to even a very basic understanding of possible differences between your relationship and mine.

    Maybe for you, tolerance and acceptance has to take the place of a true depth and resonance of understanding. I suspect you don't know what it is like to truly understand, as I use that word. I suspect that your version of understanding is quite different from what it is for me. I further suspect that I would see your version of understanding as quite shallow and thin and non-resonant. You don't seem all that well-equipped to listen and learn when someone is different from yourself.

    And yes - given that situation, I can kind of see why tolerance/acceptance would need to play such a central role for you specifically.

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