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View Diary: Coming Out Of The Closet (47 comments)

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  •  This ^^^ (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cassandra Waites

    sounds like a diagnosis of me a few years back.

    Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

    by a gilas girl on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 11:45:29 AM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  We were in college right when people were being (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      a gilas girl, oslyn7

      forcibly medically withdrawn over depression so their colleges wouldn't have to deal with the legal aftermath of 'why didn't you do anything?' if they committed suicide. 'We sent them home and told them to go get help or we wouldn't let them complete their degrees,' was considered a reasonable CYA story.

      No one seems to have thought of what the message 'if anyone thinks you might be suicidal, you will lose your current semester's work, you may not be permitted to re-enter school until you have absolutely perfect mental health, you may fall off your parent's medical insurance and will likely be individually uninsurable for life, your loans are probably going to come due sooner than you planned, and you will lose contact with any local support system you may have built yourself' would do to my age cohort. NO ONE was going to go to the college psych office for help with anything that might be interpreted as non-bipolar depression unless they were completely suicidal already, and at that point why go? And we weren't even going to schools that had pulled that nastiness on someone - it was just in the news practically every semester.

      And that was on top of some people already having a pretty good idea of the effects being medically captive for a suicide-watch psych hold would have on their minds and not being willing to take the slightest chance of that to start with.

      It really doesn't help, either, that society has developed such a stigma against talking about suicide in anything but a general prevention sense that listing off things you think might push you towards it is probably more likely to be seen as a 'this person is a suicide risk' thing than a 'this person has a strong desire to live, has analyzed what is required for them to maintain it, and is actively seeking to make that possible' which is pretty much the exact opposite.

      ---

      My sexual orientation, asexuality, has a surveyed suicidal ideation rate (not planning, not attempting, just thinking about it) that has been as high as 70%. Which means any relationship with two of us in it may well have a 9% rate of neither having done so. These things are probably why our community doesn't generally discuss anything dealing with suicide - all it takes is one person mistaking a mention of idle ideation for actual serious 'I may do this' planning and someone's life is disrupted in dangerous ways. Oh and since asexuality can get misinterpreted as sex drive suppression arising from depression, that disruption may likely include therapy intended to change someone's orientation.

      It really needs to be safe for us to talk.

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