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View Diary: A gay man discusses his sexual identity (148 comments)

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  •  It never changes, then (11+ / 0-)
    That said - nuance is wonderful among academics and in-group, but the simple choice/not-choice dichotomy is all the politicians and public have the inclination and ability to understand - and of those two wrong choices, 'choice' is substantially more wrong and incredibly more harmful.
    If we won't even acknowledge the choice aspect of it amongst ourselves, then where do we go from there? Wait until all of our rights are won and then say, oh, actually, there is a certain level of choice involved.

    We should not discriminate against people for their sexuality. Full. Stop.

    Whether it's innate or a choice does not matter. People should be free to choose their own destiny and their own partner, and however they came about that is the business of no one except for the people involved.

    The pursuit of happiness is all that applies. It should not matter to anyone whether I find that happiness with a man or a woman. We ALL agree on that. So why bother arguing about whether those are choices or not? Heteros get to base their marriage on any choice they want: genetics, money, fertility, fame, whatever, no questions asked.

    Queers should have the same right.

    P.S. I am not a crackpot.

    by BoiseBlue on Sun Jan 05, 2014 at 05:21:51 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  Well, for what its worth, (8+ / 0-)

      It seems like most of the lawyers and judges on our side recognize that - they take a two-pronged argument to answer the 'immutability' requirement for 'suspect class': "For many or most gays, it is not a choice" and "Even if it was, like religion, it is so fundamental to a person's identity that demanding change is unethical".

    •  i am uncomfortable with the way you frame this (0+ / 0-)

      it is not a 'choice.'  you self-identify as a lesbian but have some sexual connection with men on occasion (as stated in your prior posts)--  but there are also lesbians who would be completely unable to have any sort of such relationship with men in any capacity.  your specific sexual identity (lesbian, with some fudging around the edges for men in certain circumstances) is as fixed and individual as the lesbian who at no point in her entire life will ever have a sexual feeling for a man.  

      the way we talk about our sexual identity and the way that it manifests itself over time may change, but that does not mean that the identity itself is ever variable or that choice (meaning a purposeful alteration of innate sexual identity via willpower) ever comes into it.

      none of us choose our sexual identities, in the same way that none of us choose how tall to be or how our eyes are shaped.  our in-born characteristics may evolve over time, but they are something that we are born with.

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