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View Diary: Another 'family values' GOP pol exposed as rank hypocrite (235 comments)

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  •  I'm calm, thank you. (3+ / 0-)
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    Eyesbright, Modified Dog, Arkenstark

    But may I just tell you how annoying and patronizing it is, to be instructed to "calm down"?  What, you think I'm being emotional (like that's a bad thing) so my arguments should be discarded?

    About two dozen people explained to you why it wasn't HR worthy.  Including me.  
    No one is trying to intimidate you with "vote counts".  They're trying to enlighten you, an apparently hopeless endeavor.

    •  You're attempts to "enlighten" (1+ / 0-)
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      have largely consisted of personal attacks, exasperation, and an appeal to vote counts.

      At a community forum, I was the only person out of approximately 200 to vote in support of same-sex marriage rights.  Afterward, dozens of attendees tried to "explain" to me why I was wrong.  I wasn't swayed by numbers then, and I'm not swayed now.

      The poster was hijacking the diary to further their blanket hatred of a group that includes many progressives.  That's a fact, and that's why I HR'd it.

      I'm a Christian, therefore I'm a liberal.

      by VirginiaJeff on Mon Jan 06, 2014 at 01:38:13 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Well, that's done it for me, then. (1+ / 0-)
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        Go thou, and think no more.

      •  In the book "Emotionally Free," (0+ / 0-)

        David Viscott writes "Accepting responsibility for one's reactions to events not only diminishes the blame you can place on others, but also empowers you to change and move on.

        After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, 'It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that determines who you are.' "  It is also a great indicator of exactly what issues one needs to deal with.

        Or as someone else once put it, "Life is 5% what you make it, and 95% how you learned to take it."

        The main problem I see with VaJeff and others is that they are blaming other people for their emotional responses to what was written.  As soon as one blames another person for their emotional response, the first thing they attempt to do is change the other person and the other person's behavior, rather than change themself.  In reality, the only person we can really ever change is ourself.

        Change is threatening to those who are afraid.  What blame does is allow a person to think they don't have to change, because it's everyone else who has the problem.  

        Blame and denial are hallmarks of people who have been socialized to see themselves as victims.  When a person has learned to see themselves as a victim, they learn to see everyone else as either a "rescuer" or a "persecuter."  This may not happen in all social situations, but when a person is afraid, this is the outcome.  

        This information is the basis for the Karpman triangle, a tool that is used to analyze addictive and dysfunctional behaviors that occur in and between people.  

        For people who are afraid, religion oftentimes turns into an addiction.  When it does, the behaviors that these people exhibit are consistent with the behaviors of any and all other addicts.  If one is interested, I would recommend a book by Anne Wilson-Schaef titled "When Society Becomes An Addict."

        As far as religious belief is concerned, I like the quote by economist Sylvia Cordwood I found in an older Readers Digest.  She wrote "My opinion is something that is true for me personally.  My conviction, (however,) is something that is true for everyone - in my opinion."

        Another name for a "conviction" would be the word "fact."  The bottom line here is that a fact is something that can be proved or disproved, whereas an opinion cannot.  

        Those who believe in the existence of God, have usually learned to  believe that point of view to be a fact.  The problem is that God's existence cannot be proved or disproved, which, in reality, makes it an opinion, and not a fact.

        I don't have a problem with anyone having any kind of an opinion they want to have, as long as they call it an opinion.  The problems begin when someone defines an opinion as a fact, because then they start treating that opinion as if it were a fact.  

        Because they have learned to see it as a fact, they go on to build an entire belief system on an opinion.  When someone challenges their "fact," that is when those who are dependent on their belief system begin to act like victims, blaming their emotional responses on the person who challenged their belief system.

        It's been written that friends can do two things for us:  they can support us, and they can challenge us.  Support helps us with our emotional balance, but it is the challenges we face that keep us  growing.

        When a person perceives a challenge to their belief system as an attack on their self-image, they are, then, acting like a victim.  Until a person accepts responsibility for their emotional responses to whatever events happen to them, they will never be free of the need to try to change others, and they will never change the only person they have any hope of changing.

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