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View Diary: UPDATED: Coming to Terms with Myself as an Introvert (246 comments)

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  •  I am a horrible listener (12+ / 0-)

    It's not that I don't want to hear it, it's that it takes people too long to say what's on their minds. And a lot of people tend to say the same thing over and over in a million different ways trying to get whatever point across in a super solid way.
    I'm ready to engage almost immediately. Return fire so to speak. Holding back is the most exhausting part of socializing to me, but only in small groups. In large groups I rarely open my mouth because there's too much to watch.

    Your other two paragraphs are spot on. :)

    •  That makes me wonder if you're an ... (7+ / 0-)

      ... intuitive introvert.  (Look at my comment explaining all that above, if you aren't sure what that means.)

      I am a horrible listener (9+ / 0-)
      It's not that I don't want to hear it, it's that it takes people too long to say what's on their minds. And a lot of people tend to say the same thing over and over in a million different ways trying to get whatever point across
      Intuitive people have an ability to leap right to the final point, skipping over all the in-between steps ... so I wonder if you're able to quickly grasp what someone is trying to say before they've had a chance to work it out for themselves as they say it?  And then you get impatient waiting for them to catch up with themselves.

      One of my counseling professors made an observation about me and my counseling style which really startled me.  She said, "[Niemann] and I almost always have the same assessment about a client, except that whereas I have to work through it step-by-step to reach the conclusion, he just leaps the conclusion right from the start and skips all the in-between steps."

      •  some people call that a rush to judgement (4+ / 0-)

        I call it saving time.
        Saving time for what, I don't know.
        I'd like to make a bit longer comment here because yours excited me but it's past time to get ready for work.

      •  I was in a meeting (5+ / 0-)

        a many many years ago. I painstakingly went through all the reasons (with data) why we should go in a certain direction on a project. It was obvious-to me and my assumption, would be to everyone else too.

        The next three hours I had to repeat and repeat why various scenarios would not work and/ or be the best choice. One of the engineers saw me get a little bit frustrated. At the end of the meeting everyone came on board.

        That same engineer came up to me and said "Babsnc your reasoning was sound and I was confindent we would reach the same conclusion, but you need to understand that everybody in that room needed to make a buy-in to the idea you were putting forth. They needed to hear and work out in their own minds and to their own satisfaction that the plan being discussed was optimal. Remember give us time!"

        That was the best advice I have ever gotten. Didn't even realize I had jumped way ahead and worked out the conclusion.

        Truth is harmonious, lies are discordant.

        by Babsnc on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 06:40:03 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  That sould be ADD, too. n/t (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      niemann, RiveroftheWest

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