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View Diary: UPDATED: Coming to Terms with Myself as an Introvert (246 comments)

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  •  I feel the same way about going places. (14+ / 0-)

    My 14 year-old granddaughter, on the other hand, absolutely loves to go places where she knows no one, and when she comes home she says "I made so many new friends!" She has no fear. A complete extrovert.

    It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

    by lynneinfla on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 03:53:35 PM PST

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    •  I've offended people because (18+ / 0-)

      at their party, I said not much and left early, and at XYZ's party two days later, I talked continuously and stayed late.

      It's hard to explain in ways that they'll understand that as an introvert, I'm really into substantive conversations where people get really worked up about issues and dissect things deeply, and can completely lose myself in the event (even if it wears me out), but I want to beat my head against the wall when it's groups of people standing around in circles complimenting each other on totally uncompliment-worthy things and cracking facile jokes. More importantly, I just can't do it. I don't have any insincere compliments (not that they're insincere for extroverts, but they would be for me) and I don't have a lot of light jokes. I just don't. I have some heavy ones, but only introverts like them—extroverts tend to get uncomfortable. "Sheesh, why ruin the mood by making things so real?"

      We just think differently; we like to be inside heads—ours or those of others—not hovering around the center of the room in a chit-chat fest with a dozen people we don't know from Adam.

      -9.63, 0.00
      "Liberty" is deaf, dumb, and useless without life itself.

      by nobody at all on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 04:17:47 PM PST

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      •  Two types of managers (9+ / 0-)
        We just think differently; we like to be inside heads—ours or those of others—not hovering around the center of the room in a chit-chat fest with a dozen people we don't know from Adam.
        We are just two types of energy managers. Extroverts are energized by groups. Introverts are drained by them.

        Chit-chat is the social glue that bonds extroverts. It mostly irritates and repels introverts. Introverts are not averse to talking. In fact, they do it incessantly--inside their heads and with close friends when it's topics they love.

        Extroverts often need to think as they talk. Introverts, tend to need to think (and think some more and then some more) before they talk.

        Everybody talking is a measure of engagement and contentment for the extrovert. Everybody quiet is a measure of engagement and contentment for the introvert. They are both right.

        We both work in this world. The problems arise when one approach is deemed superior to the other.

        Back when we were farmers, being laconic was okay. Then the industrial age demanded that we all become salesmen, if for no other reason than to market our distinguishing characericis from the machine operator sitting next to us.

        The tide is turning a little with computer/internet nerd heroes being elevated to legit status, but we're still pretty stuck in believing that extroversion is the ultimate aspiration  and introversion needs to be fixed or overcome.

        After all...

        Nothing happens until somebody sells something!
        That's not the whole story. Somebody has to think through the product that's being sold and then after that, somebody has to sell it.

        The truth is, mothing happens until somebody thinks something through, makes something and then sells something. All types are necessary in that enterprise, not just the talker.

        The fact is that we all need to be quiet sometimes and all need to speak up at other time to get things done. Both are valid and necessary paths to prosper in this life.

        "I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights." (From "You Said a Mouthful" by Bishop Desmond Tutu - South African bishop & activist, b.1931)

        by FiredUpInCA on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 06:24:49 PM PST

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