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View Diary: The Grieving Room: Fighting isolation (44 comments)

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  •  In spite of my wonderful Tonia, (11+ / 0-)

    keeping me safe from fear,
    or,
    should I say,
    doing everything
    I would ever hope for,
    to keep me safe from my fears,
    I actually have troubles,
    similar to yours,
    nearly every day off.

    My solutions:

    1. Write a list
    of things to do,
    interesting projects.

    2. Make a pot of strong coffee,
    and start sipping on it.

    3. I used to walk the dog,
    for a very long walk.

    My furthest was
    three miles,
    total round trip.

    Nowadays,
    my projects usually involve
    cooking a big batch of food
    for my family.

    Just a couple of hours ago,
    I cooked ham and cheese grilled sandwiches,
    for four people,
    and scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon,
    for myself,
    along with my special red beer.

    I know you have no one in your apartment,
    so you can't do
    exactly what I do.

    But,
    maybe you can figure out
    where you can cook for someone.

    Maybe,
    even if your home town
    has a free meal soup kitchen already,
    I would think
    if I was in your situation,
    with church connections,
    church influence,
    I'd start my own soup kitchen,
    and get lots of volunteers signed up,
    and lots of wealthy donors buying the food ingredients,
    and I'd start small,
    with the goal of,
    eventually,
    having a 24/7/365
    drop in and eat,
    drop in and get counseling,
    rehab counseling,
    emotional and mental health counseling,
    etc. center.

    Friends to eat beside,
    play computer games with,
    etc.

    I'm saying you single folk,
    maybe,
    should build a family
    from your community,
    so you can have some of what I have,
    with my wonderful family.

    Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

    by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 06:34:46 PM PST

    •  i think people come (10+ / 0-)

      to the one meal per week we do have at church is to see each other and create a sub-community.

      interestingly, I have had trouble going to the Wednesday meal lately also.  I have not been to it for a month.

      Just being among people and trying not to show them how sad I am is exhausting.

      but I hear what you are saying, bigjac3.  you were so good about getting out and finding someone for yourself and I envy that, as I have told you many times.

      I want to have the energy to take action and reach out.  I don't know where it will come from, though.  Today was a surprise.

      It left me drained, though.  Still, I will force myself to do it again.  Like taking nasty-tasting medicine because you know it is saving your life.

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:30:45 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  As I recall, I was not good about (6+ / 0-)

        getting out.

        Certain folks came to me,
        to use my apartment,
        as a place to stay,
        a place with all utilities working,
        and food in the fridge,
        etc.

        One of them,
        Tonia,
        turned out to be a keeper,
        since she pitched in with money,
        and had her eye on me,
        anyway.

        You know I'm an adamant non-believer,
        but you also should know,
        I love the Bible,
        since,
        from my point of view,
        the Bible is a collection of wisdom writings,
        much of it,
        most of it,
        in the form of parables.

        But,
        some of it is pretty much
        straight forward
        good advice.

        But,
        to use the advice,
        you must take out the supernatural god,
        and insert ordinary humans.

        One such piece of advice is,

        "You have not,
        because you ask not."

        You don't have someone sitting beside you,
        face to face,
        listening to you speak of your emotional pain,
        someone to give you a hug,
        and a few words,
        maybe no advice,
        just,
        "I'm here,
        connecting with your emotional pain,
        and wishing you better days."

        You don't have that,
        because you are afraid to ask for that.

        And,
        since I don't know your friends,
        you could be right;
        you may not have any friends
        who are
        ready,
        willing,
        and able,
        to step up,
        sit down,
        listen,
        hug,
        and properly console you.

        I don't know.

        But you certainly won't get that
        if you don't ask for it.

        What do you think about that?

        Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

        by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 08:09:55 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

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