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View Diary: The Grieving Room: Grief Open Thread (29 comments)

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  •  we are not faith based here (1+ / 0-)
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    Kit RMP

    so you can vent and cry out as much as you need to.  i think writing helps a lot, at least writing helped me and helped a lot of others here.

    since you asked for advice, my suggestion in finding a non-religious grief group is to contact hospice organizations in your area.  Hospitals and nursing homes can give you the phone numbers of hospice organizations.  That's how I found my grief counselor and she has been a godsend, especially in that first awful year.

    if you live in a small town, maybe there is something you can travel to in the nearest big city every other week, or even once a month.

    and we are here every Monday

    Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
    Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

    by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Jan 21, 2014 at 06:03:18 AM PST

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    •  Thanks, TrueBlueMajority (2+ / 0-)
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      Kit RMP, TrueBlueMajority

      Writing has helped me as well, I think.  Writing something to share at my friend's funeral was hard as hell (and even harder for me to stand up and share), but it gave me a sense of purpose that I was doing something to honor her memory and to do my part to share with her family just how much she meant to so many of us who were so close to her.

      Writing what I did last night here on DK was the first time I've shared with anyone what that experience of finding out about her death was like.  I didn't even really cry that morning when I first found out - just cussed and said "Oh my God" a lot as I remember.  And then tried to go on through Christmas Day and all the family obligations and plans without completely falling apart.  Which I managed to do fairly well, I think.  And that really made me think that I was a bad friend or an incomplete person at the time. What is so wrong or broken with me that I couldn't even cry and fall apart over my best friend's death? How could I just soldier on so as not to ruin everyone else's day - what kind of normal response is that? But writing about it makes it real and put me in touch with the deep emotions that are always there, just stuffed safely and carefully away under the surface.

      I will check into hospice.  I did see a link for that on one of the local grief-related websites I found but wasn't sure what kind of resources they might have.  Thanks for the advice :)  And I will check back in here on future Mondays - thanks so much for providing the forum.  

      •  a delayed/subdued reaction is *perfectly normal* (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Kit RMP

        sometimes a death is such a shock that your mind and body don;t completely react right away.

        it is a protective mechanism that lets you soldier on when you have to without falling apart

        you may fall apart later, you may not, but i want to reassure you that i've seen a LOT of grief and your response was perfectly normal

        please keep in touch

        Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
        Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Wed Jan 22, 2014 at 08:54:15 AM PST

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