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View Diary: AR-Sen: Cotton wrote in college that easy divorce could backfire on women (8 comments)

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  •  i'm not going to defend his conclusions, but (1+ / 0-)
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    Lucy Montrose

    my own experience sadly echoes his observations. as a male whose adolescence through the 70s seems now like a political high-water mark for the women's movement, i've been startled throughout my adult life at the extent to which the women i've known well -- and in particular, the most talented, extraordinary women i've known -- treated the finding of a mate as the principle concern of early adulthood.

    actually, "startled" is a polite effort to avoid sounding condescending. the truth is, i've been disappointed to see brilliant young women subordinate their professional futures to their marital futures --such as, marrying the first man who has the nerve to ask, almost as if they're 19th-century farm daughters who are supposed to feel grateful that they were asked, and not condemned to spinsterhood.

    ultimately, the prime directive of feminism is that women get to choose, individually, their purposes and desires, so it's not my place -- or anyone else's place -- to judge the priorities these women set. it's just not what i expected. it's not what i was taught to expect.

    To put the torture behind us is, inevitably, to put it in front of us.

    by UntimelyRippd on Mon Feb 03, 2014 at 06:51:40 PM PST

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    •  Well We Do Have A Vested Interest In Their Choices (2+ / 0-)
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      Aunt Pat, Lucy Montrose

      because when they don't have enough money  to sustain themselves in retirement (or even before) it's the feminists who are going to have to step up to help them sustain themselves.  We already went through that with divorced, widowed, and abandoned women from the 1950s.  I really don't want to spend my time doing it again and I'm working damn hard to make sure I don't put my daughter through it.  Women must work.

      Newt 2012. Sociopath, adulterer, hypocrite, Republican.

      by tikkun on Mon Feb 03, 2014 at 07:15:55 PM PST

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    •  Well, back in the 70s they probably didn't have... (1+ / 0-)
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      ... an army of medical, psychological and media personnel singing the tune of how vital it is to have a mate. How much your health-- including your physical health-- depends on loving, intimate relationships. From Dean Ornish on down. When it's backed up by doctors and scientists -- people they tend to trust, in other words-- you are unfortunately going to get a lot more accomplished, feminist women listening to whatever message you're peddling.

      I'm sure evangelicals and fundamentalists lick their chops at this message. Here it is, backed up by scientific proof, that bitches better get a man... or they'll only have themselves to blame for their "emotional misery".

      Ornish and friends probably never intended their message to be abused this way. But I can picture young Rep. Cotton poring over a few Ornish books, a few issues of Prevention and Psychology Today, and a little Maggie Gallagher for good measure; and thinking "Hey this is perfect! I can tell women to get back in the kitchen, and sound both compassionate and scientifically grounded while I do it."

      Real Democrats don't abandon the middle class. --John Kerry

      by Lucy Montrose on Tue Feb 04, 2014 at 03:00:45 AM PST

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