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View Diary: Rape Culture is Not a Left/Right Issue (100 comments)

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  •  Well, gee... (2+ / 0-)

    if I were to find out my partner of 12 years was fucking one of my own kids behind my back and possibly molesting another, I'd be pretty pissed too.  Wouldn't you?

    It's not irrational to expect that Mia had a right to be upset.  Like, Goddess forbid.

    •  IMHO, the question (0+ / 0-)

      is not whether her anger was justified or not but whether it is possible that it resulted in Dylan being influenced by her mother's attitude and animus toward Woody A.

      You haven't mentioned anything about the fact that trained therapists have to be always on guard against influencing children under examination in cases like this because of how easy it is to get an implanted memory started. Children are very susceptible to suggestions from adults when it comes to interpreting reality and they tend to organize their beliefs to accord with those of the adults around them.

      I am interested to know if you think this is a real problem among therapists and if so, I am interested to know whether you think this problem should be an important consideration in the present discussion.

      The world is a den of thieves and night is falling. -Ingmar Bergman

      by Pirogue on Sun Feb 09, 2014 at 07:43:29 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  No I don't think it's a real problem... (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        churchylafemme, Cinnamon

        false accusations are extremely rare.  Most victims never come forward because they're scared, and for the ones that do, slut-shaming and bullying is their reward.  It's not an easy thing to come out and accuse someone of sexual assault, most especially if the perpetrator is a celebrity of some kind.  And predators bank on that in order to get away with their crimes.  And so the seeds of doubts of their guilt are sown.

        In my case, law enforcement believed me, but knew that I did not have the mental strength to manage through a trial.  However, my co-workers did not, and my work environment was made more hostile (they were already abusing me in other ways, but those are labor-related issues).  Eventually, I was driven out of that job and have been either chronically unemployed or in school getting degrees ever since.  I'm almost 36 now and in therapy for mental health issues and I have Asperger's besides.  

        No one takes reporting sexual abuse lightly.  The costs of doing so are too high culturally, as well as emotionally and financially.  That's why we need to have these discussions, to make the world much more comfortable for the survivors to speak out and get justice.

        •  It is clear that (0+ / 0-)

          you have been deeply injured emotionally by your ordeal and I truly hope that you can find healing. It is not my intention to add to your pain and it was never my intention to become an advocate for Woody Allen's innocence but my sincere feeling after doing more reading than I had ever wanted to that there simply isn't enough clear evidence available publicly for me to add my voice to those who are calling for a universal condemnation of the man.

          Please understand that I am far from indifferent toward child abuse, either sexual or otherwise. I think it is reprehensible and leaves a permanent scar on whoever it touches. It makes me sad just to think about it. But I am also deeply committed to the principle of presumption of innocence, whether in a court of law or the court of public opinion. I just haven't seen enough to allow me in good conscience to brand him a certain molester. But if he is indeed guilty he hasn't gotten off Scott free, few people will ever look at a Woody Allen movie in quite the same way and few will find will be able to hear his name mentioned without there being a degree of doubt about his character. I am, myself in that number.

          In the end I certainly agree with those who say that we need to be vigilant in protecting children from abusers and they should never be treated dismissively if they reach  to the adults around them for help.

          The world is a den of thieves and night is falling. -Ingmar Bergman

          by Pirogue on Sun Feb 09, 2014 at 09:09:13 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  I think that we need to stop (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            churchylafemme, Arianna Editrix

            making the whole sordid detail about the feelings of the casual observers and consider the feelings of Dylan Farrow and other survivors who never got justice.  We need to stop making these cases about the integrity of the victims and their supporters, and start having conversations about how we handle them and their feelings and how much damage was done to them, and not coming off as feeling "bad" for the person accused of abuse.  There is no real "damage" to Woody Allen's reputation.  He will never be prosecuted for the crimes alleged to have been committed against Dylan, but that should not completely absolve him from reproach, especially when there is a compelling case to be made that he is a sexual predator.  I believe that he is a sexual predator.  He has displayed all the behaviors of one in regards to both Dylan and Soon-Yi.  And so, he gets my scorn for him and others like him, who use privilege as a shield so as to avoid accountability for their actions.

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