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  •  Absolutely, and I'm right there with you: (3+ / 0-)
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    Arianna Editrix, boudi08, annan
    I look for reasons or rationale in order to proceed without making more mistakes or missteps.
    I am SO in the same boat.  When something bad happens, you analyze it.  Think about it, think through it, think over it until you're just thinking AT it.  Until your thoughts are just running around and around in little worry circles and doubt spins in their center like a storm's eye - only it's not calm.  The eye is the nexus of self-doubt that makes you think you can't find the reason why things went wrong because you ARE the reason.

    And that's bullshit.  If I've noticed any consistent thing about people on the left side of the political spectrum, it's that we're quick with the self-blame.  We do fuck up... okay, let me amend that.  I fuck up.  Arianna, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I will presume that, being human, you do occasionally make mistakes.  That IS being human, and it's much better and more empowering to seek understanding and learning from your mistakes than to deny or minimize them.  You, obviously, do that.  So you're trying to be better.  That counts.

    It's absolutely healthy to self-examine, and to have reasonable self-doubt in the face of a relationship's end.  Just - please - don't let it destroy YOU.  If there are unhealthy, unhelpful, or un-useful things in your life that need to go away, sure, pitch 'em.  But keep the good stuff.

    Your poem shows that you have plenty of good stuff.  :)

    In a much more trivial tone, it's also my experience (and take that for what it's worth, i.e. not much) that relationships which end for no discernible reason didn't end because of you.

    Hope to read more of your writing soon, singing of a happier time in your life.  :)

    •  Not Phuk up? Moi? (2+ / 0-)
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      boudi08, annan

      Not a chance!  I think it's part of life.  I just hate when it makes life harder than it already is.  I do think you're right that those with more thoughtful views are some who tend to see "if it's me" first before blaming others or even questioning their motives.  I have grown to be a bit harder over the years......once a young idealist, I am now a virago and will snap on someone if I'm fairly sure they are just being an eejit for the sake of being "on the right side".  As soon as I have sight in both eyes back, I'll be online and writing again.  Today was my Valentine to myself but oh my head hurts from peering!

      ~Arianna_Editrix-- I willingly accept Cassandra’s fate, To speak the truth, altho’ believ’d too late

      by Arianna Editrix on Fri Feb 14, 2014 at 09:52:09 PM PST

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    •  Jon ^^^ (1+ / 0-)
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      annan

      You sound like a very wise man.  We do self blame to easily.   I loved a man who i couldn't keep and carried that grief for a long time.  Sometimes it still stings but i am glad i knew him ultimately .    Actually learned how to pronounce  unrequited .
        It  seems the best poetry is wrought out of sorrow.  Hang in Arriana it softens after a time.  
        I like the phrase - the paralysis of analysis.  

      Politics is a contact sport

      by boudi08 on Sat Feb 15, 2014 at 10:52:46 AM PST

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