Skip to main content

View Diary: Bigoted reply to little Sophia's 7th birthday party invitation a hoax (160 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  And that (7+ / 0-)

    is dangerous and numbs people to the very real instances of LGBT discrimination.

    •  Particularly when people get USED to the hoaxes. (8+ / 0-)

      Not just hearing about things happening, but seeing the comments linking to Snopes nearly every single time.

      Which means people start discounting anything more distant than a friend reporting someone they personally know had something happen to them unless a news organization has already checked up on it.

      Which also means being potentially very wary even of friends of friends reports if the mutual friend doesn't pass a name along. So forget spreading tales of 'my friend who is somewhat in the closet and hasn't given me permission to tell you about them' having something happen to them on a guess.

      Now look at the population percentages and the chances any one person within that population will receive single-incident discrimination harsh enough to be worth trying to talk about to friends who aren't QUILTBAG.

      And magically most of the capacity of people with QUILTBAG friends to say "yes, this happened, and there are this many stories I trust are probably right" goes way way down.

      Most of the discrimination stories I have from friends are so specific that if I can't make the details vague, they're outed. And some of those friends are still deeply closeted and have to be at the moment. If I can't do that without getting a 'don't trust hoaxes' warning from the person I'm talking to, those stories get silenced until it's safe for those friends to come out.

      I'm an actual eyewitness to one of those incidents. If I talk about it, anyone close enough to me knows within three or four people just who in my circle of friends is closeted and trans. If I can talk about it vaguely, as something I heard about happening or something I witnessed happening to a stranger, that risk goes away - but the details that let me prove it's not something I'm making up also go away.

      And on top of that, I'm part of a group that gets told there isn't any discrimination targeted at us, just stuff mistargeted that was intended for GLBT people. Anything that makes QUILTBAG discrimination stories be treated as 'hoax until proven otherwise' by default? Hurts our ability to claim we're even being targeted, and helps the handful of people who are trying to turn lesbians against asexual women like me and gay men against asexual men like my boyfriend, even if the story has nothing to do with any of us.

      I am not a happy person at the moment.

      •  Just brilliantly said Cassandra (4+ / 0-)

        Thank you for that.

        •  Thanks for giving me a place to get at least that (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Steveningen, Tool, davespicer

          out of my system.

          It's all the little things, and the weight of what can't be said, and the fact that I can at least talk about Story From Random Stranger without outing people or airing out things where someone WILL ask 'well couldn't you have done more then?' (as if I haven't asked myself that staring at the ceiling at 3 am after apologizing and receiving 'you did what you knew to help, no need for it' absolution, in one case most likely to lead to that question).

          And people like these idiots probably are, who don't have to deal with The Stories, who weren't close enough to someone who was coming out to have to help someone deal with the first unkind words that weren't just targeted on guesses and stereotypes... they don't get how deeply LYING about the sorts of things some of us DO stay up until 3 am remembering sometimes actually HURTS even the people who weren't the targets of the real events, including the friends and family bystanders stuck with the emotional support duties afterwards.

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

  • Recommended (151)
  • Community (65)
  • Elections (43)
  • Civil Rights (38)
  • Culture (32)
  • 2016 (32)
  • Baltimore (28)
  • Texas (27)
  • Bernie Sanders (27)
  • Law (27)
  • Economy (27)
  • Environment (26)
  • Hillary Clinton (24)
  • Labor (23)
  • Rescued (21)
  • Health Care (21)
  • Barack Obama (20)
  • Republicans (19)
  • International (18)
  • Freddie Gray (17)
  • Click here for the mobile view of the site