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View Diary: How I chose to remember Fred Phelps (174 comments)

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  •  And that someone was very brutal (22+ / 0-)

    The stories I've read about Phelps' mistreatment by his dad were hair-raising. Phelps went to hell as a small boy and never made it out.

    Fight them to the end, until the children of the poor eat better than the dogs of the rich.

    by raincrow on Thu Mar 20, 2014 at 01:03:17 PM PDT

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    •  and then he did the same to his kids. (18+ / 0-)

      I grew up in a very abusive family, but when I got my 1st dawg and hit her once out of anger, I realized the circle was continuing. So I started therapy and worked hard to put that behind me.
      I had a TBI  at 17 so I still have anger issues.
      But the thousands I spent helps me keep my hands off the dawgs.
      When I get angry at them I leave the house til I calm down.
      The person who raised me was terribly abused by his father.
      Hard cycle to break.

      Nobel peace prize winner Barack Obama did not just pick up that 3:00 am phone call, but, as has been noted, he mostly stayed on the phone making war and sending out drones for his entire terms in office.

      by snoopydawg on Thu Mar 20, 2014 at 03:51:11 PM PDT

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      •  Hats off to you for seeing the chain and then (4+ / 0-)

        breaking it.

        "It were a thousand times better for the land if all Witches, but especially the blessing Witch, might suffer death." qtd by Ehrenreich & English. For Her Own Good, Two Centuries of Expert's Advice to Women pp 40

        by GreenMother on Fri Mar 21, 2014 at 04:48:58 AM PDT

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      •  Good on you. I have a similar story (0+ / 0-)

        and my dad was terribly abused by his dad. Knew I must NOT have kids and had myself fixed young, and love of my departed momcat's babies finally transformed my rage about 3 years ago. I can still feel the amazing moment the chain broke.

        Fight them to the end, until the children of the poor eat better than the dogs of the rich.

        by raincrow on Mon Mar 24, 2014 at 08:22:27 AM PDT

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        •  I was never abused, but had a bad temper (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          raincrow

          as a child - especially when I felt treated unjustly. At about 5 years old or so I once ripped the handrail out of the wall in a fit of temper for having been sent to my room over something I felt wasn't my fault. (These temper tantrums usually resulted in further discipline from my parents - mostly in the form of grounding or being sent to my room or having my allowance docked to pay for the damage -  probably another reason I learned to enjoy reading.)

          And then I got my first pair of trousers that had pockets. (In the 50's little girls generally wore skirts, not pants.) Wonderful pockets! Places to put my hands when I felt angry or frustrated, and left them there until I cooled off some. As I got a little older, I had learned to control my temper's physical outbursts, and no longer needed to "incarcerate" my hands to keep from destroying things around the house. For a few more years, I would only react violently when a sibling threw the first punch. But we all outgrew that long ago.  

          The lesson I had to learn first was that violent behavior made me more unhappy than those I was angry at. After fighting with one of my sisters, I would start to cry (even though I had been winning) because it hurt me inside to feel that way toward my sister whom I loved.

          I still have a mouth on me when my dander gets up, and I'm still working on getting that under better control. (The path to enlightenment takes a lifetime.) We all have inside of us some capacity for both violence and control, anger and love. And some of us just have to struggle harder to master our inner turmoil. I am very grateful that my parents found nonviolent ways to help tame the little wild beast inside me as a child. And I'm so very sorry for anyone who has suffered abuse at the hands of adults who were supposed to protect them and teach them love by example.

    •  I agree. Phelps would piss me off so bad (3+ / 0-)

      but when I drew a deep breath and really thought about what could make a person act that way--I came to a similar conclusion.

      "It were a thousand times better for the land if all Witches, but especially the blessing Witch, might suffer death." qtd by Ehrenreich & English. For Her Own Good, Two Centuries of Expert's Advice to Women pp 40

      by GreenMother on Fri Mar 21, 2014 at 04:49:46 AM PDT

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      •  There will be no peace until (0+ / 0-)

        we as a species learn to raise our children with enough love and gentleness.

        Fight them to the end, until the children of the poor eat better than the dogs of the rich.

        by raincrow on Mon Mar 24, 2014 at 08:23:49 AM PDT

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