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View Diary: Man arrested for brutal murder was excoriated by Rep Duckworth at Congressional hearing (52 comments)

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  •  Neither have I... (11+ / 0-)

    ...but that does not solve the puzzle of why this is an overwhelmingly male crime.

    Yeah, there are abusive women, there are women who murder their husbands or partners. They are vastly outnumbered by male perpetrators. Something like 80% of all spousal murderers are men.

    To repeat myself from my first post,  I come from an extended family in which the men NEVER hurt their women. Because of this background, it is inconceivable to me that a man would ever harm any woman he has shared his life with.

    But crime statistics don't lie, spousal abuse and spousal murder are overwhelming male crimes.

    Join Essa in a revolt against the gods. Continue the fight, Causality.

    by rbird on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 06:20:53 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Just to short circuit any arguments... (19+ / 0-)'s a link to stats on spousal abuse and murder. It's one of 2.5 million results, the first one on the search results. Took me ten seconds to find.

      According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002:
          Of the almost 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49% of these were crimes against spouses.
          84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.
          Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers
          50% of offenders in state prison for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by their spouse.

      Join Essa in a revolt against the gods. Continue the fight, Causality.

      by rbird on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 06:25:23 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  That corresponds with my grand jury experience (13+ / 0-)

        in the 1990s - 115 indictments in 3 months - 50% drug 'crimes', 40% domestic violence/rape, only 10% theft, assault and battery against non-family if there were no drug 'crimes' around 80 percent of prison inmates would be domestic abusers.  So much for the right-generated fear of the 'other'.
        No prizes for guessing the political mindset of most domestic abusers...

        Armed! I feel like a savage! Barbarella

        by richardvjohnson on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 06:57:53 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Just a wry observation (8+ / 0-)

        The problem is very deep and complex and I am just noting the numbers in juxtaposition to other current events.

        Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers.
        Based on these numbers why aren't all men stop and frisked by the NYPD?

        Why doesn't every rightwing screech on the radio drone on and on about the murder culture of men?

        Why don't the attendants on airplanes notify the captain when males board the plane...even if they don't have a prayer rug.

        Sometimes we hear of these things and our first reaction is, well… I am not that. Don't put me in that group. I have expressed this myself. But there is an element of the philosophy, 'if I am not working for the solution I am part of the problem.' that should compel us all.

        I don't have an answer. I am not a crusader. But, we all, with little effort, can support candidates – especially chiefs of police and sheriffs departments and judges and attorneys general, state laws, local ordinances, business practices, funding policies, etc. that try and address these issues.

        But the most important step is just accepting that there is an actual, real issue and we are all part of it.

        "You know, just because the thing I saw wasn't there doesn't mean there wasn't something there that I didn't see." Ann Althouse, Conservative Thoughtmeister

        by Bill Section 147 on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 08:37:43 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Environment. There are social forces that (8+ / 0-)

      contribute as well as familial sources.  If you live in an abusive household you're more likely to be abusive.  Often violent men grow up in a household where either they are abused by the father, the mother is, or both are.  Furthermore, the tendency to blame women for their victimization, is evident in familial situations as well as the society at large.  This is especially the case, if the mothers justify the abuse of the men to their family or try to hide it.  Young boys sometimes blame their mothers for being weak, if they don't stand up to their abusive fathers or justify the abusive husband's actions. In all of these cases, the men are significantly more likely to be violent perpetrators as adults.

      As for social forces, when people minimize the consequences of rape or other forms of violence against women, it signals men that it is OK to do such things. As mentioned previously, there's also a tendency for women to be blamed for their victimization.  She had it coming, or she did something to provoke it, etc.  Furthermore, teaching young men to hold in their feelings, not to be emotional, to be strong and aggressive, etc.  All of these things without proper context can encourage men to be aggressive when they shouldn't.

      A perfect example is police brutality.  Policemen engaging in this behavior are rarely, if ever punished, they're actually encouraged.  When they're called out for their behavior, the higher ups defend them.  Furthermore, many people defend the cops doing this by blaming the victim, saying they somehow didn't sufficiently comply with police orders, or were doing something wrong  so that their death or serious injury was justifiable.  The blamed victims in these cases are more frequently minority men, but sometimes even women.  How often are policemen held responsible for excessive use of force? Rarely if ever.

      Similar effects were seen in the Steubenville rape case. Too many people defended the boys rather than censuring them.  All of the men in positions of authority covered up for the boys, and many women and men alike blamed the victim for her abuse.

      How often do we as men take other men to task for their overly aggressive behavior.  When men talk about getting women drunk so they can take advantage of a women, how often do we tell such men, that its not OK.  I must admit my own shame; that I frequently said nothing when I was younger.  I was too afraid of being accused of being attacked by such men.  It was easier just to do the right thing in my own life, and not take the heat by speaking out against other people's actions.  It's often easier to glide under the radar.  The only time I ever spoke out was when I had the cover of other people speaking out.  It's only as I've gotten older that I've started to speak out on my own and to take a stand regardless of the circumstances.

      The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - FDR. Obama Nation. -6.13 -6.15

      by ecostar on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 08:42:12 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  We expect anger, violence, reactivity from boys (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      FarWestGirl, rbird

      ...but we do little to channel that, except into 'obedience' and 'punishment' - and we do little to show them functional adult examples of what we tell them they should do.

      At the very least, we can teach them to recognized the signs of "needing to react physically" and teach them tools for stepping back, settling down, maintaining their sense of who & where they are.

      Or, y'know, try to...

      trying to stay alive 'til I reach 65!

      by chmood on Fri Apr 04, 2014 at 09:02:23 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Door Swings Both Ways (0+ / 0-)

        How much psychological torture can a person, male or female put up with?  The courts are full of defendants both male and female who took matters into their own hands and unleashed violent retribution against someone dishing out a neverending stream of physical and/or psychological abuse.  Yes, it's predominantly male, but not exclusively.

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