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View Diary: Son Comes Out by Accident, Parent Response Heartening (42 comments)

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  •  Thanks for your comment Bob. (22+ / 0-)

    I've heard this from friends who had the same fears, but none who took as long as your did. Commonmass is a force of nature and our family dynamic is and was as kids very unusual. If he's ever told you anything about what our adolescence was like then you surely know what I mean.

    Beyond that, however, we were at a FAME arts which school in Houston (and later in Chicago) in the middle of Montrose. Gay was normal and anyone who hadn't come out to their parents had a superior support network and it rarely lasted past 9th grade.

    I was very heartened by her response. Not that I would have necessarily expected otherwise but just to hear it unfold organically like that, in a real and human way, replete with requisite "call your lesbian acquaintance" faux pas, was delightful and refreshing.

    The kids gonna be alright.

    •  Being somewhat (ahem) older than you guys (5+ / 0-)

      my experience is a bit different. I have actually known people who didn't come out until significantly later in their life than I did. In fact I a cousin--the youngest of all my first cousins but still over 60--who has not come out to his family. There's more than simple fear of acceptance going on in that situation to be sure; I suspect there are some mental health issues involved. But his mom, who might have been an obstacle, is dead, his dad's over 90 and certainly could care less and his older brother of course knows he's gay. But rather than simply say so he essentially stopped speaking to all of his relatives, including me. In fact when he found out some thirty years or so ago that I was both gay and out he was terrified that I'd "blab."

      •  It's at times like this ... (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        sfbob, bastrop

        ... that I appreciate anew how unusually wonderful my maternal grandparents were.  My uncle (b. 1925) has always been, as far as I've ever known, out to his family, and his partner of 49 years was always embraced by the family.  Not everyone is so fortunate.

        Of course, my father had a problem with his brother-in-law, but Dad had problems with everyone, much to his loss.

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