Skip to main content

View Diary: Advice for a Funeral? (43 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  My brother is a pastor in a progressive (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cosette, TrueBlueMajority, Creosote

    church- the one we grew up in. A few of the local funeral homes use him when families request secular services, because he can do a totally secular service if that's what the people want AND be there should some of the bereaved desire less secular comforting.

    I was a lay preacher, unlicensed, years ago when I was more religious. I was asked to do two services but turned the requests down because I was too close to the departed and would be grieving too much to keep it together.
    I did officiate beside a Justice of the Peace for a friend's wedding as a non-religious entity. I wrote "prayers" that called for secular blessings that her religious relatives did not notice didn't invoke God or Jesus.

    Do you know someone with a gift for public speaking who would be sensitive to the grieving, who could celebrate the departed's life?

    My brother meets with the bereaved family, asking them to gather as many together as they can who were loved by the departed and who loved him/her. He'd write down their stories about the person- their memories, what meaning and import and effect he/she had on their lives. It is a fairly simple matter to put together a memorial service from these riches. My family's services always invite people to stand up and speak about the departed. Some of the most meaningful parts of the services are found in that- testimonials of the person's worth, their nature and their deeds.

    My condolences. I hope you find someone who fills the bill. I'm betting you already know him/her, but haven't yet put the two together.

    "Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

    by Gentle Giant on Fri Apr 11, 2014 at 01:59:47 PM PDT

    •  My brother did my father-in-law's service. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      cosette, TrueBlueMajority, Creosote

      My F-I-L was an atheist.

      My brother stood and looked around the room and opened with, "One of the things I admired most about __ ___ was that he was an atheist." He then went on to describe all the very Christianlike things my father-in-law did habitually- all without the threat of damnation or the reward of Heaven to influence him- kindness for its own sake.
      It was a very moving service.

      "Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

      by Gentle Giant on Fri Apr 11, 2014 at 02:02:36 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site