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  •  This loses something in print format and is ... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jayden, BFSkinner, LinSea, Crashing Vor

    best told orally in an Ozarks accent. But here goes:

    Farmer Alfalfa is plowing down in his back forty acres when up drives Honest John who walks up to Farmer Alfalfa and says “Farmer Alfalfa, have I got a deal for you. I have got the very latest in outhouse technology. It’s guaranteed to be odor free, or double your money back!” “Odor free or double my money back? Hot dayum!” replies Farmer Alfalfa. And so Farmer Alfalfa signs on the dotted line at the end of the 20+ page contract.

    The following day Honest John drives up in his pickup with a small crew and the new outhouse in tow. After carefully installing it and removing the old one, he drives away. The very next morning at the crack of dawn Honest John gets a phone call from a very irate Farmer Alfalfa. “Come on down here right away. The new outhouse stinks to high heavens!” So Honest John rushes over to Farmer Alfalfa’s and inspects the outhouse.

    When he returns he says "Well, Farmer Alfalfa, you sure are right. That's a might powerful odor in there!" Farmer Alfalfa replies, "Hot dayum! I get double my money back!" "Well," said Honest John, "I'm afraid that's not possibe. You see, you've voided the warranty." "Voided the warranty? And just how did I do that?!" screams Farmer Alfalfa. Honest John takes out the contract, opens it up to the middle, points to a clause, and says "I'm real sorry Farmer Alfalfa, but someone done took a shit in there!"

    "Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius." -- Arnaud Amaury

    by terremoto on Wed May 07, 2014 at 07:32:35 PM PDT

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