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View Diary: STILL coping with unemployment... (71 comments)

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  •  Anybody Been Yelled At By Career Counselor? (9+ / 0-)

    I spoke to a career counselor a couple months ago at my alma mater.  Withing seconds of meeting her she was barraging me with accusation in a Very Loud Voice about my supposed personal shortcomings.  It did not help that she was a morbidly obese youngish white woman.  I wanted to offer her a ride to the nearest Al-Anon meeting or maybe just ask her which one of her parents drank.  

    A month later I got an email that they are recruiting her replacement.  

    From other people's experience, I have heard it is a common practice for these career counselors to basically try to make their client cry.  My response would probably be to ask them a few pointed questions about their personal problems.  

    Too many people think they are a "people person" and a "good judge of character,"  when they are actually very delusion on those specific points, and the collision of reality and delusion leaves them severely depressed. We've all known several people like this.  Heck there might be one that has left a sobbing voice mail on your machine right now.  I'd really like to see how many HR people are severely depressed.

    Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

    by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 08:38:32 AM PDT

    •  If you think that's bad... (6+ / 0-)

      Each time I had a online video interview with Robert Half Technology, the recruiter finds a new job in two months. That happened twice. Other times I get solicited to submit my resume for a position and it disappears into a black hole. It's getting to the point that I won't do business with them.

      •  Robert Half > Yoh > Kelly (4+ / 0-)

        Yoh was getting a terrible reputation, partly because they were hiring South Carolina sorority girls in their first real job as recruiters.

        I pulled up a list of Yoh recruiter thumbnails on LinkedIn and showed them to my GF.  I said "Look at Heather and Missy and Crystal here - this is a list of recruiters, not an advertisement for a strip club." And my GF was like "Oh my god, that totally looks like a bunch of strippers."

        Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

        by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 10:05:19 AM PDT

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    •  I Was Told by a "Job Counselor" - (8+ / 0-)

      That a person with my educational level without a job wasn't really trying. It is truly amazing how abusive the supposed "support" network is. I am convinced that such structures exist only to give political and ethical cover to those with privilege and with jobs.

      •  I Think Many Of Them Are Flaming Codependent (5+ / 0-)

        I know, the one I was talking to said I had no excuse for not earning $125 K. Well, practically yelled it at me actually, as part of a tirade of ad hominem criticisms from the minute I sat down.

        I was just looking at her thinking "And how many times have you tried to kill yourself?"

        I have written numerous diaries about the abusive or borderline personality types that are created by abusive families.  How do you spot them? Well right out of the gate they make elaborate and strident accusations against people they don't know.   Because that is what an abuser does, as they parrot the behavior of the abusive parent.  This is a "dry drunk."

        Am I making this up?  No, it's the whole basis of Al-Anon, which is for people whose borderline traits (learned from asshole parents) have ruined their lives.

        When I see someone like that, I think "This person needs to go to Al-Anon. " I don't need to accuse them of something specific.

        Also the most common delusion of the dry drunk is that they are a "people person" and that they "understand people."   Most often this is totally in conflict with reality, which is that these people are uniquely devoid of insights into other people.  They aren't a "people person" except that they need someone to blame for their feelings, which are always negative.  But by constant use of projection, they can go through life hunting and punishing the people they think are "negative."  In real life, they are "shit magnets" for dishonest and abusive people, and when they interact with honest people it generates fairly high levels of paranoia (and accusations).

        Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

        by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 10:57:33 AM PDT

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      •  Yep (4+ / 0-)

        This includes family members. My parents are "frustrated" that I've been unemployed for a few years, that I'm not "trying hard enough", that I'm "shortchanging" myself. Then there's the temp agencies (I pretty much never get a call back from an actual employer), who wonder why I've been unemployed for so long. I tell them that it's because the people who weren't hiring when I first got laid off are now judging people for not working for a long time. This whole situation really, really sucks.

        Living is easy with eyes closed...

        by skybluewater on Sun May 11, 2014 at 06:38:52 PM PDT

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      •  Barbara Ehrenreich's book "Bait and Switch" (0+ / 0-)

        is about how the white-collar unemployed are left without support, and then abused by a series of hucksters -- career counselors, image consultants, boot camps, job fairs, etc.  The book was published in 2006 and is somewhat dated, because things have only gotten worse.

        If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - President John F. Kennedy

        by laurel g 15942 on Mon May 12, 2014 at 12:50:20 PM PDT

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    •  . (7+ / 0-)

      if there are HR people who are happy and delighted with the corporate run world we currently forced to deal with, they are probably psychopaths and will have their jobs for the rest of their career.

      "History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling the money and its issuance." -James Madison

      by FreeTradeIsYourEpitaph on Sun May 11, 2014 at 10:11:38 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  HR Protected Jerry Sandusky For Years (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        eyo

        We're off topic from the original subject of recruiting but.....

        How many people did HR ruin so Sandusky could molest little boys at work?

        Every financial scandal, deadly mine disaster, rape cover-up has HR providing a protective layer of armor.  The knew exactly what was going on in all these cases.

        Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

        by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 11:01:12 AM PDT

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        •  . (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          WorkerInUSA, RiveroftheWest

          The last good HR dept and person in HR that I can remember was in 1981 at a company that doesn't exist anymore.  The building with its company name still on it still is there ... but nobody's home.  Just like true and just leadership is awol in this country

          "History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling the money and its issuance." -James Madison

          by FreeTradeIsYourEpitaph on Sun May 11, 2014 at 12:59:35 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Has The Profile Of The "Perfect" HR Person (0+ / 0-)

            ... become that super sparkly personality that is usually the result of their father drinking themselves to death or something similar?

            Jesus, there are careers in art, show business, politics, televangelism, and sales that are traditional careers for "people persons" from shit families. There's also a variety of jobs requiring no contact with other people. But too many people are drawn to the absolute worst thing they could be doing, and HR is about the last thing on earth they should attempt.

            But I think the "dry drunk"   has become the image of what an HR person is supposed to act and sound like, especially when the jobs requires a ruthless zealot to hunt down and punish the "bad" people.  

            But what about the rest of us that weren't raised by assholes, drunks, or addicts?  Is it possible to hold a job if you didn't have an abusive childhood to whine about at work?  What are you supposed to do when your boss starts telling you about how all eight siblings nearly starved to death?

            Or is it always going to end like this?

            Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

            by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 03:46:16 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

      •  The HR approach IS the reason (4+ / 0-)

        why the country is being destroyed by the plague of H-1Bs.

        The HR approach, which emphasizes a slavish adherence to EVERY SINGLE CONDITION in the ad, eliminates MANY who have PERFECTLY good credentials. But HR eliminates the hundreds who do not satisfy every single condition.

        Years ago, the hiring person would look at the resumes, and pick the closest one. Now, none of those get through. Unless you satisfy EVERY requirement, you get dumped in the dumper.

        We need to modify Shakespeare. "First thing we do, we kill all the HR staff" is the line I would write.

        •  H1Bs Using Imposters For Screening Interviews (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          WorkerInUSA, RiveroftheWest

          I was talking to a Brahman Canadian who's been here on a NAFTA visa, and he was complaining about the H1Bs using ringers to sail through the screening interviews.

          Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

          by bernardpliers on Sun May 11, 2014 at 03:29:32 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  The stories about CV lies by H-1Bs (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            RiveroftheWest

            are pervasive. There is a huge cheating culture, and the ethos in the H-1B community is that these jobs are now Indian, and the Americans don't deserve them.

            It's beyond corrupt.

            Now the new policy shift opens up another 100,000 jobs to H-1B spouses. 100,000. That is more than the annual H-1B allowance.

            Just the other day, they arrested a Chinese guy for part of the Target data breach. There is a story every day about some H-1B who is going back to China or India with US trade secrets.

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