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View Diary: 7 dead in shooting rampage in Santa Barbara (162 comments)

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  •  It is easy to blow him off as being crazy. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Namazga III, Steve CXS, kfunk937

    That would play so easily and let us off the hook as a society for not caring for people, all people.  Pigeonhole somebody and that's it: our responsibility is done.  And it will be far, far, easier to harangue about gun control than doing something about mental health and how we choose to value each other.

    Elliot Roger is know in incel circles, as I commented about here.  Don't go there: if you are normal at all you aren't going to understand.  That he would chose to lash out in hatred before extinguishing his life because of a lack of intimacy is something a NT can't begin to comprehend.  And, of course, that aspect of Elliot's mental health isn't even going to be discussed.

    There but for the grace of circumstance go I.  Growing up there was nothing known about high functioning autism/asperger's.  It is hard to describe being immersed in the social/sexual games during adolescence and young adulthood when one cannot even see the rules.  And, even worse when one feels acutely what is lacking in one's life.  I still get PTSD-like anxiety dealing with things like writing this.  Fortunately I met a woman who could see past my (undiagnosed) aspergers and began developing normally.  I was at an age where despair at life continuing as it was could very well have turned to a lethal hatred of socially normal NTs.

    It will be interesting to see how this story will play out, but of course incel will be swept under the rug as usual.

    •  Ok, I googled "incel", but I can't be assed to (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      gramofsam1

      sort through all the results to figure out what you mean by "NT".

    •  thanks for the post. Having struggled badly in (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      P E Outlier, kfunk937

      adolescence and post-adolescence--far longer than I care to admit, it is disappointing to realize that virtually no one here will grasp the concept.  It's not really the kind of thing for which any outlets exist.  Like you, I've basically moved past it--but it wasn't a fun--or short--period.  And I thiknk a lot of people never move past it.  So anger builds up...I experienced some of it but kept it to myself.  The healthiest thing I did--actually with the help of some of these not-always-savory sites as well as legitimate (and not cheap) psych help--was basically turn the tables on myself and seeing what I was doing to block out other people--rather than why people weren't responding to me.  Perhaps the best decision I've ever made.  Actually, my therapist supported my choices because I knew what I was doing, knew something was blocked, and am a pretty self-aware person.

      I'm just sorry to see being 'stuck'--which is a real psychological problem--with hatred and misogyny--which seems to be going on quite a bit here.  Sometimes one DOES breed the other--but they are also very different animals.

      •  Great reply - thanks (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        kfunk937

        People seldom realize the amplifying power of self rejection.  Glad you made it through.

        •  well, maybe 80 % through--still more to go! (0+ / 0-)

          But I even had some psychological terms for things I experienced in my 20s...I called them 'white rage' and 'black rage'.  They felt/were dangerous---although I would never hurt either myself or anyone else.  Those are long gone--as is the misogyny I felt back then.  One important realization was that none of those feelings actually had anything to do with women/dating/sex at their core--those were just manifestations.  Actually it really had to do with bad vision from early childhood!  

          •  I don't know if one is ever whole. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Namazga III

            Like thinking about all of this and following this story and the one of the girl who was bullied about her sexual life and committed suicide - as I think I've said, it raises my level of anxiety, almost like PTSD over that absolutely horrible segment of my personal life.

            Good luck!

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