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View Diary: Psychology Of Splitting And Projection: That Enraged Voice In Your Head Screaming At Strangers (134 comments)

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  •  I suppose it's easy to dismiss this stuff as (10+ / 0-)

    psych stuff. It's not that easy, IMO.

    People have their issues, but in my opinion, the failure to talk about it makes it toxic.

    "To take another person's life from the bench is no better than to take another person's life from the street"

    by commonmass on Fri Jul 25, 2014 at 09:14:12 PM PDT

    •  Possible Diary On Shame (15+ / 0-)

      A lot of people here are deep into the shame thing.

      GF once said to me "You know that sense of shame that hangs over us all the time?"

      And I said "Well sure I guess so...  whaaaaat? No I never heard of that before!"

      Seriously, many people describe the abusive family as an environment where all emotion, positive or negative, is forbidden and the children are blamed.

      As I like to say - "Daddy only drinks because you cry!"

      I think this is central to the conservative mindset.

      Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

      by bernardpliers on Fri Jul 25, 2014 at 09:30:37 PM PDT

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      •  There seems to be an interesting article (10+ / 0-)

        about mental health and creativity which was featured on the NewsHour (which to display my age I still refer to as the MacNeil/Lehrer Report though they just the other week stopped producing it. I also still call what comes next "Washington Week In Review").

        However, this:

        As I like to say - "Daddy only drinks because you cry!"
        Sometimes, Daddy drinks because he's creative and also has issues of his own. Sometimes, he's even homosexual on top of it.

        Pathology is a nice, neat, science. Little boxes, like the song says.

        I have my own struggles, however I would rather have my creativity than be "normal" which to me is the most repulsive state in which to live.

        "To take another person's life from the bench is no better than to take another person's life from the street"

        by commonmass on Fri Jul 25, 2014 at 09:41:47 PM PDT

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        •  "I have my own struggles, however I would rather" (0+ / 0-)

          have my creativity than be "normal" which to me is the most repulsive state in which to live."

          I once knew someone who needed lithium, who said that about lithium...

          We are all pupils in the eyes of God.

          by nuclear winter solstice on Sat Jul 26, 2014 at 04:17:35 AM PDT

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        •  Countless transsexuals of my age group (5+ / 0-)

          died because they didn't fit into whatever little box the psychiatrist-quacks of the moment were looking for, and hence weren't able to get prescriptions for hormones.

          What improved matters for us was not any advances in psychiatric pseudoscience, but the Internet -- which made it possible to buy hormones from countries outside the control of the AMA. This broke the monopolistic control shrinks had over our lives; we no longer had to suck their dicks to get hormones.

          Once transsexuals were freed from the draconian rules and closet homosexuality of transphobic American shrinks quacks, and began to self-transition, the rules magically changed, and now it is much easier to transition. But during the 1970s and part of the 80s, probably the majority of people who sought transition were not erotically titillating enough to the psychiatrists to be allowed to transition, and died as a result.

          American Presidents: 43 men, 0 women. Ready for Hillary

          by atana on Sat Jul 26, 2014 at 10:25:02 AM PDT

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          •  Freudians Have Left A Lot People In The Lurch (0+ / 0-)

            As much as I like Kernberg, it's really sad how he sometimes ties himself in knots to ignore Adler and his pragmatic plain spoken approach to compulsion.  It really detracts from Kernberg's work, and it's quite obvious at times, especially when alcoholism would be the most obvious example he could use.

            Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

            by bernardpliers on Sat Jul 26, 2014 at 02:53:04 PM PDT

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      •  I will add that my own father (6+ / 0-)

        is a teetotaler.

        "To take another person's life from the bench is no better than to take another person's life from the street"

        by commonmass on Fri Jul 25, 2014 at 09:43:39 PM PDT

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        •  My Friend Has That Scenario (6+ / 0-)

          His analyst is dumbfounded that his family is not a bunch of drunks. Otherwise, everything is else is a classic alcoholic family, minus booze.

          Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

          by bernardpliers on Fri Jul 25, 2014 at 10:04:08 PM PDT

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          •  Interesting observation from a professional. (0+ / 0-)

            I'd hope that analyst realizes - unless he's seen their interactions firsthand - that everything he knows about that family is filtered through your friend's own observations.

          •  Mine is similar.... but (3+ / 0-)

            my grandfather by birth and the one that raised my father WERE alcoholics.

            Stir in the interesting social challenges of a boy definitely on the autism spectrum, and yes.

            I have spent a lot of time deliberately thinking about relationships both with my spouse and my sons so as not to continue the pattern.

            Help me get my utilities on! I can't eat this elephant by myself. http://www.gofundme.com/8xw014

            by Alexandra Lynch on Sun Jul 27, 2014 at 10:12:52 AM PDT

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            •  I Think Birth Order Counts For Something (0+ / 0-)

              My dad had a high functioning alcoholic narcissistic father, married three time (first wife died of TB). Dad was born to wife #3 and his mother was fine.  dad had some narcissism, but did OK for himself without ever being a "user" of other people.

              I was born third of three kids spaced wide apart so my folks were were comfortable being parents at that point.  They are now married 60 years.  But my older brother definitely absorbed some of dad's traits and used to be wrapped a little too tight.  I think I skipped that dynamic.  And my brother  just turned 60 and is gliding into retirement with a modest pension and a steady girlfriend.  

              Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. -Pascal

              by bernardpliers on Sun Jul 27, 2014 at 11:35:44 AM PDT

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    •  Agreed re the failure to talk about it. Perspectiv (4+ / 0-)

      requires a minimum of two points of view. As an aside, that's why binocular or stereoscopic vision is the most popular body plan on the planet, depth perception requires it.

      Anyway; What we perceive from our own point of view is usually too narrow to understand the whole situation and we often have strong reactions from that narrow perception.

      Conferring with others to gain the perspective to identify cause and effect so to understand what happened, and our place in it, either relieves the anxiety of uncertainty and/or builds a foundation for genuine understanding. Without that feedback and perspective, we tend to get stuck in our own narrow pov which is almost certainly unstable and inaccurate.

      Talking it out and understanding what actually happened can defuse and temper the reactions. Refusing or being unable to identify and resolve those reactions and perceptions begins a self-reinforcing internal feedback loop.

      An analogy is an abscess. A foreign object may lodge in the body. Opening the insult and allowing the area air and sunlight, (or breaching the capsule and introducing antibiotics) allows it to heal. Covering it so it shows less, or ignoring it allows the infection to fester and spread.

      Information is abundant, wisdom is scarce. ~The Druid.
      ~Ideals aren't goals, they're navigation aids.~

      by FarWestGirl on Sat Jul 26, 2014 at 07:39:39 AM PDT

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