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View Diary: A Conservative View of Brides (138 comments)

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  •  People stare at brides (16+ / 0-)

    Because they have just spent several month's salary on a fabulous dress and have spent several hours perfecting hair and makeup, so they look as close to perfection as they're ever going to look. The groom rented a tuxedo that looks slightly different than a regular suit and ran a comb through his hair, and probably has a hangover from the bachelor party the night before. Of course people stare at brides. Immortality and submission have nothing to do with it.

    Be bold. Be courageous. Americans are counting on you. Gabby Giffords.

    by Leftleaner on Fri Aug 22, 2014 at 02:50:41 PM PDT

    •  This is probably true (10+ / 0-)

      They do stare. I remember walking out in my dress and almost running back into the bathroom because I couldn't stand all those people gaping at me. (Not even all that many people, we had a smallish wedding, but it was still weird.)

      •  That's pretty much the reason I don't want (7+ / 0-)

        the pomp and ceremony of a wedding. The idea of being the focus of everyone's attention really creeps me out. (Not that I have to worry as I have gone many, many years without finding someone I could actually live with and could live with me on a daily basis! ;-)  )

        •  My daughter feels that way, but thinks she (3+ / 0-)

          Should plan to have a regular wedding anyway. I say we do a small gathering for whoever wants to fly to Hawaii. She is now close to engaged, so we will see what happens.

          Be bold. Be courageous. Americans are counting on you. Gabby Giffords.

          by Leftleaner on Fri Aug 22, 2014 at 05:05:59 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Tell her not to "should" on herself (5+ / 0-)
            thinks she [s]hould plan to have a regular wedding anyway
            I had the kind of ceremony I wanted and it is a great memory. However, my mother very strongly felt we "should" have a very traditional reception at a local restaurant, instead of the BBQ type event friends had offered to host.

            So we had little canapes with shrimp and egg salad, and everybody drifted around with cheap sparkling wine making small talk. The event that didn't happen would have been at the home, and with the crowd, where we had congregated throughout our courtship. We would have gathered in front of huge stone fireplaces, consumed wine from boxes, eaten big old hairy steaks, and chicken breasts, with potatoes baked low and slow for hours. And nearly 40 years later I still regret that reception we didn't have.

            Your daughter is blessed to not have parental pressure for some type of magazine approved event that she "should" have; and I urge her to create an event with her beloved that will express their own style, whatever that may be.

            “Texas is a so-called red state, but you’ve got 10 million Democrats here in Texas. And …, there are a whole lot of people here in Texas who need us, and who need us to fight for them.” President Obama

            by Catte Nappe on Fri Aug 22, 2014 at 05:21:49 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  I second that (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            belinda ridgewood

            As I said, I'm mostly an observer, with a couple of stints as maid-of-honor. Just going through a marriage ceremony is a very emotional event, and the emotions and stress increase the more people and events it involves. To keep that day special for the bride and the groom, it should be about what they want. If it's to celebrate their union, it should be about what is important within that union.

            If she is doing this because it's what others expect something will feel wrong before, during, and after. They are the ones who have to live with their wedding day and when they look back they'll want to feel like it was their day, not someone else's.

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