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View Diary: Texas OK's Death Penalty for Abortion Providers (348 comments)

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  •  Pretty soon (4.00)
    We'll be charged w/ murder for having our period

    "What?!!? She didn't get her monthly egg fertalized?!? Off with her head!!"

    PS If you think I'm crazy, remember how pharmacists refuse to fill birth control pill persciprtions.

    Its not easy being a Floridian.

    by lawstudent922 on Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 04:01:17 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Yes (4.00)
      And what about all those sperm?  They could make a life -- in fact they are life.

      Life begins well before conception, it begins at ejaculation!  All you sperm killers out there take note:  if your sperm aren't making a child, you're headed to death row.

      Can we get all the smart people out of Texas and give it back to Mexico?

      I Am The King Of The Eleven Comment Diary

      by CalbraithRodgers on Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 04:28:20 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Amen. (4.00)
        Death to all pud whackers.
        -----------------------------------------------------------

        "We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."--Donald Rumsfeld

        by sunbro on Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 05:05:53 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  One of my favorite lines in (4.00)
        Leagally Blond...

        Masturbation could be considered reckless abandonment.

        Its not easy being a Floridian.

        by lawstudent922 on Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 05:12:07 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Cf Monty Python's Meaning of Life (4.00)
        "Every sperm is sacred" -- better learn the words, everyone, it may become the national anthem.
      •  All about women (4.00)
        This isn't about men.  This is about trampling a woman's reproductive rights.  After all, we're too stupid to know what to do with our bodies.  
      •  Every Sperm Is Sacred - Monty Python (4.00)
        DAD:
        There are Jews in the world.
        There are Buddhists.
        There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
        There are those that follow Mohammed, but
        I've never been one of them.

        I'm a Roman Catholic,
        And have been since before I was born,
        And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
        They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

        You don't have to be a six-footer.
        You don't have to have a great brain.
        You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
        A Catholic the moment Dad came,

        Because

        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite irate.

        CHILDREN:
        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite irate.

        GIRL:
        Let the heathen spill theirs
        On the dusty ground.
        God shall make them pay for
        Each sperm that can't be found.

        CHILDREN:
        Every sperm is wanted.
        Every sperm is good.
        Every sperm is needed
        In your neighbourhood.

        MUM:
        Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
        Spill theirs just anywhere,
        But God loves those who treat their
        Semen with more care.

        MEN:
        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        WOMEN:
        If a sperm is wasted,...
        CHILDREN:
        ...God get quite irate.

        PRIEST:
        Every sperm is sacred.
        BRIDE and GROOM:
        Every sperm is good.
        NANNIES:
        Every sperm is needed...
        CARDINALS:
        ...In your neighbourhood!

        CHILDREN:
        Every sperm is useful.
        Every sperm is fine.
        FUNERAL CORTEGE:
        God needs everybody's.
        MOURNER #1:
        Mine!
        MOURNER #2:
        And mine!
        CORPSE:
        And mine!

        NUN:
        Let the Pagan spill theirs
        O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
        HOLY STATUES:
        God shall strike them down for
        Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

        EVERYONE:
        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is good.
        Every sperm is needed
        In your neighbourhood.

        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite iraaaaaate!

      •  Every Sperm is Sacred (none)
         Monty Python

        DAD:
        There are Jews in the world.
        There are Buddhists.
        There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
        There are those that follow Mohammed, but
        I've never been one of them.

        I'm a Roman Catholic,
        And have been since before I was born,
        And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
        They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

        You don't have to be a six-footer.
        You don't have to have a great brain.
        You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
        A Catholic the moment Dad came,

        Because

        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite irate.

        CHILDREN:
        Every sperm is sacred.
        Every sperm is great.
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite irate.


        •  Well, at least we can all agree with (none)
          the Penis Song (Monty Python).

          GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S A LITTLE NUMBER I TOSSED OFF
          RECENTLY IN THE CARIBBEAN.

          Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis,
          Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong.
          It's swell to have a stiffy,
          It's divine to own a dick.
          From the tiniest little tadger,
          To the world's biggest prick.

          So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
          Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.
          Your piece of pork,
          Your wife's best friend,
          Your Percy or your cock.

          You can wrap it up in ribbons,
          You can slip it in your sock.
          But don't take it out in public
          Or they will stick you in the dock,
          And you won't come back.


           
    •  Damn right (4.00)
      All women constantly pregnant on a rolling basis! Maybe a month off after each birth. With written permission.

      You'd have to have compulsory marriage too, otherwise how would the eggs be fertilised - I mean, sex outside marriage is what makes God send the hurricanes.

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