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View Diary: Not So Fast Summers (270 comments)

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  •  She has to admit it?? (none)
    Or, if "you" didn't mean her, but "one has to admit it," I beg to differ.  I, for one, don't admit it.  Uh, lots of people don't admit it, you know.
    •  That's fine (1.00)
      You are a moron then, that's all.

      The best situation is mom at home, dad at work, all things being equal.  

      •  sorry, that's bullshit (none)
        The best parent, regardless of gender, should spend the most time at home raising the kids.

        Now, how to decide who is best at parenting?  I'm better at some aspects of parenting (cuddling, nurturing, juggling several balls at once, getting the shoes on the correct feet) but my husband is better at other aspects (e.g., keeping calm in a situation where the kid needs to be disciplined, instead of losing his temper in a spectacular fashion, as I tend to do).  He's much less of a control-freak/micromanager than I am, which is a really excellent skill for parenting.  He's also extremely patient, which I am not.

        We end up spending approximately the same amount of time with our son, so our strengths and weaknesses are balanced out.

        New Orleans will never die

        by hrh on Wed Sep 21, 2005 at 12:07:46 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  well then (none)
          The best parent, regardless of gender, should spend the most time at home raising the kids.
          Then all things are not equal if one parent is better than the other, are they?
        •  Actually . . . (none)
          It seems to me that BOTH parents should spend time acting as primary caregiver for their children. Men and women do often have different approaches to the job and, like any two individuals, different talents and skills. But children benefit from the parenting styles of each and need lots of time with each.

          My wife and I split the week evenly. We spend Sunday together as a family. I work Monday, Wednesday and Friday and she works Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. We don't use day care.

          I knew next to nothing about caring for kids at the time my first daughter was born. But after two-plus years I am pretty confident that I can handle almost anything. While my wife and I agree on the basic philosophy and goals of our parenting, I don't handle everything or react to things in the same way that she does. My kids benefit from learning that no two people are alike. I think that principle holds true pretty generally.

      •  Uh, wow. Never mind. <n/t> (none)
        •  yeap (2.50)
          Yeap.  That's right.  You have nothing to say.  

          Loser.

          •  You know, I'm not sure I've ever (none)
            in seriousness been called a moron OR a loser before.  It's kind of fun, actually.

            But that's my last word, dipshit.  Enough fun for today.  I have work to do.  

            •  well (none)
              Well its good.  Apparently people are too afraid to call you what you are.

              A moron and a fool of grand proportions.

              •  I know you are but what am I? (none)
                OK, it isn't fun anymore.  WTF is your problem? Know when to quit, dude.
                •  I never let (none)
                  I never let wrongheaded morons who can't defend thier point have the last word.  It will never happen.

                  If you can't acknowledge that all things being equal the ideal family is a working father, and a stay at home mom who raises the kid(s), then you are delusional, wrong, and a moron.

                  There is, literally, no debate.  It is not even a scientific question.

                  •  Huh? (none)
                    There is, literally, no debate.  It is not even a scientific question.

                    Who "can't defend their point"?

                    If you insist on having the "last word" after this (so that's what it's all about), you're welcome to it.  I hope I don't forget your userID, as I don't really ever want to talk to you anymore.

                    •  response to idiot (none)
                      I said:
                      All things being equal, any other arrangement is sub-par.  That's the crux.  You have to admit it.  In any given situation, the ideal is two healthy parents, the mom raising the child fulltime.

                      To which you said:
                      "I don't admit it"

                      then

                      "Uh.  Nevermind"

                      Which is when I called you a loser with nothing to say.

                      Things being equal, the best situation for a child is two healthy parents, the mom raising the child fulltime while dad works.  You deny this.  You apparently have some secret method that's super top secret that no one else knows about that produces better results.  But you just can't say what it is, or provide any type of basis.  In fact, you can't even spell out what is a better situation.

                      Therefore, you a fool, moron, loser, and idiot.

                      See?

                      And yes, I will have the last word.  You've posted, what, four or five times about not responding, being done, not talking to me.  I don't you have it in you, gasbag.

                      Therefore,

                  •  Wrong (none)
                    You, sir, are overgeneralizing things. Whether the traditional arrangement, "all else equal," is best is a question that cannot be answered. That is because things are never equal - not even on an hour to hour or day to day basis.

                    I think it is a bit over the top to be as critical of someone who disagrees with you as much as you were. People can and should choose the parenting arrangements that work best for their own families. As long as they are fulfilling their parental responsibilities well, what's to criticize?

                    We also need to stop stereotyping fathers as being incapable or less capable of child care than mothers. I can tell you from personal experience that this is not the case. That something is traditional does not mean it is best for children.

                    •  wrong (none)
                      That is because things are never equal - not even on an hour to hour or day to day basis.
                      They certainly can be equal enough.

                      But even if not, you should be able to agree to the statement if intellectually honest: all things being equal the best arrangement for the welfare of the child is fulltime mom, working dad.

                      We also need to stop stereotyping fathers as being incapable or less capable of child care than mothers. I can tell you from personal experience that this is not the case. That something is traditional does not mean it is best for children.
                      It's a good indicator though!  I am not saying a father can't be a good stay at home dad.  I am not saying it should be discouraged.  I am saying nothing of the sort.  I am talking about what the ideal is.

                      Ideally, the mother should raise the child with help and support from the father.  That's the model.

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