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View Diary: Goodbye Cruel World (159 comments)

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  •  Please Forgive the Intrusion (4.00)
    My mental state is collapsing and deteriorating almost daily.  It's so consistent you could practically graph it.  My life is falling apart at an equally alarming rate, and yet I feel like doing nothing to salvage it.  I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of one of the WTC towers, watching it come down on me, floor by floor, knowing I'll be blown to atoms, yet unable to move.

    This sounds, Raybin, like you are in the grasp of clinical depression.  For whatever reasons.

    Folks laugh about GBCW diaries and all, but this paragraph stood out for me, myself having at times in my life been there, done that, as far as this particular set of emotions goes.  

    It is perfectly human to be weary.

    But for yourself, can you please look into depression, if you haven't already (i.e. talk to someone professional about it)? I don't know you from Adam, other than reading you on this site and MLW.  But nonetheless I'd feel horribly remiss if I didn't say this to you.

    I will miss your diaries very much.

    My separate place for mental meanderings: Political Sapphire

    by shanikka on Fri Sep 30, 2005 at 04:09:34 PM PDT

    •  I'm sending a video of this thread to Dr. Frist. (4.00)
      So don't worry. If there's a problem, Dr. Frist will take care of it. Maybe they'll pass legislation to keep Raybin's brain tube inserted.
    •  This paragraph grabbed me as well. (none)
      shanikka, thank you for writing what I felt as well.

      I have had intimate relationship with depression and this just screamed out to me. The crummy thing about it is the meds and cognitive therapy (my fave) take so long to kick in and they may be the wrong combo and you just have to keep trying to find the right fix.

      Raybin, I am at least twice as old as you and have felt the same many times but I got to keep kicking and I know we are making progress.

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