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View Diary: Goodbye Cruel World (159 comments)

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  •  (SLAP!) Get a grip on yourself, dammit! (none)
     Actually, I think I know just how you feel. Do I ever.

    Sometimes it feels like visiting the blogs is an exercise in masochism. I've never been so well informed about so many different ways that the people in power are completely fucking our shit up. Which makes me feel awful.

    And then I'll read something inspiring, and realize I'm not alone. Others are feeling what I'm feeling. And I feel better.

    And then I read on, and see the ease with which we start devouring each other and bickering about every goddamn thing... and I feel worse.

    And then I'll read something else that makes me laugh.

    But lately I have been feeling like I'm wasted, and can't find my way home.  Mood swings, disturbed sleeping patterns... bouts of intense anger and tears. I'm too young for menopause. And, then there's the fact that I'm a guy.  

    I feel like things in much of the world are empirically worse than I can remember them being previously over the course my adult life. And, at best, the world has always been plenty fucked up...

    Increasingly, I have to admit that the blogs have been a crutch for me. In one way I feel them prop me up, but I've also felt a dependence on them that may be limiting. It's a mixed bag.

    Still, I'm not yet prepared to do a GBCW diary. I'm sad to see that you're doing so.  I, for one, will miss you. But like I said, I get it.

    Having said that, I've also read these kinds of diaries only to see the author back in short order. And people are only too pleased to see them. So don't feel that you need feel sheepish about popping up again if that's your inclination: there's that whole "prodical son" thing you can ride in on!

    Anyways, yeah... I hear you. And I'll miss you.

    Fare well. I've enjoyed your voice.

    Blueshifting: Making progressive politics visible.

    by Malacandra on Fri Sep 30, 2005 at 10:36:40 PM PDT

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