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View Diary: I remember the day when....and I'm afraid (315 comments)

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  •  Thank YOU (4.00)
    Do you have any idea what it cost me to write this diary?  Things I'd buried for years.

    It took me 35 years to even admit I'd been molested.    One of my dearest friends said to me, when I told him, 'Oh, that explains so much about you.'  LOL

    I didn't have as many problems admitting I'd had an abortion. Even illegal.

    I cannot tell you how demeaning it was.  How I sat there and rationalized to myself, rather dead than stuck.  Go for it, babe.

    I have zero regrets.  All I wish is that there will never be another woman to have sit there and go through what I went through.

    •  You're very brave. (none)

      Mariva's Guide: Stuff for the mind, for passing time, for sharing, for yourself, for fun.

      by mariva on Mon Oct 31, 2005 at 05:58:36 PM PST

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    •  I know others who have a hard time (4.00)
      Admitting to sexual abuse as a child, many.

      I on the other hand seem to introduce myself, "Hi my name is ..... and I was sexually abused as a child."

      No matter how many times I say it, write about it, it's still so painful .... it wasn't just the events (which spanned years), but also the lifelong effect.  First sexual relationship was with someone I cared naught for, second one that cared naught for me ... on and on.  Years of therapy ..... I finally was diagnosed as suffering PTSD and then I read ....

      One recommended treatment of PTSD is to expose the traumatized person to a similar trauma over and over, only in a safe environment, to desensitize.  Imagine that one!

    •  While I do know what it's like (none) be pregnant and single and alone (twice, actually), I was fortunately able to have a safe and legal abortion in 1989. But even then, before some of the restrictive measures passed in the 90's, it was difficult to get an appointment.
      The second time I decided against abortion because the circumstances were completely different. It's been VERY tough, but I'm glad I made that decision and I'm glad I had a fucking choice in the matter.
      All these diaries have really been hitting home, helping me remember how hard it is to raise a child alone and how the male-dominated society really doesn't give a shit--for them, it's all about control.
      I overheard a conversation in a restaurant yesterday--a woman was saying if Roe v. Wade was overturned, she's leaving the country. I found myself wondering if it really would be overturned because of the argument that if it's overturned, the wingnuts will lose quite a bit of their funding--from those who oppose abortion, because it was finally overturned, and from those who are pro-choice but supported Republicans for other reasons.
      If it gets overturned, God forbid, I will add my name to the network of people helping women who find themselves in the situation I found myself in before. I don't think abortions will ever be illegal in Maryland, so if nothing else, we can set up a travel fund.
      Goddammit, this shouldn't even be a discussion. Grrrr!
      Thanks for your honesty.

      "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

      by rioduran on Tue Nov 01, 2005 at 04:50:07 AM PST

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