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View Diary: My reproductive wake-up call (197 comments)

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  •  It's not the doctor's choice (4.00)
    It's MY choice. I thought I had the right to make decisions that affect my body, even stupid ones:) Regardless of the reasons for the decision, it is (or shouldn't be) up to the doctor to decide for me. Basically, I'm hiring the doc to give advice (whether I take it or not) and perform the procedure. That's it - s/he is an expert mechanic.

    And yes, I've probably pissed off a lot of doctors in my time:)

    "Science is defined by how you ask the question, not the question you ask."

    by themis on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 02:46:13 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  It it, partially. (none)
      The doctor is bound by ethics, and quite frankly by law, to "do no harm."  If you want to do something stupid to your body, and you need a doctor's assistance in doing said "stupid" thing, the doctor is bound by his or her ethics not to do it if they feel it present too high of a risk or for some other reason.  If you want to amputate your little finger because you think it looks cool, is a doctor under an obligation to do that?  Or, more likely, if you weigh 145 pounds and you really, really want to have weight loss surgery so you can get down to 115 pounds, is a doctor obligated to do that?

      On a practical level, I don't think it's unreasonable to think a sterilizing a 20 year old may be "causing harm".  I knew lots of women who swore at 20 that they never wanted children. Now, at 34 or 35, they are actively trying to get pregnant, some to the point of spending thousands of dollars for fertility specialists.  And yes, I would say the same about a 20 year old man who wanted a vasectomy.  There are too many birth control options to resort to the most permanent one for a person who has just attained the age of majority.  

      •  Reversible choices (none)

        When I was 27 and childless, and wanted a vasectomy, I had to shop around for a doctor who would do the procedure.  Happily, I found one.

        One argument I kept hearing was "How do you know you're making the right choice?  Reversal isn't reliable, you know."  They're right on reversal - it can't be counted on.

        What about being a parent?  Is that reverible?  Or is regret simply not going to happen?  I think both those notions are unrealistic.

        I know many parents who concived when they were in their early 20s, and kept their lovely children, but dearly wish their lives had been different.  Point is, having the children was their choice at the time.  Just as not having them was mine.  And unlike a few of my friends, I have no regrets at all about my decision.

        "Why, a child of five could figure this out! Someone fetch me a child of five." -Groucho Marx

        by kiwifruit on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 04:00:57 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  I love this (none)
          "on being a parent, is that reversable?"

          I've got two kids, two birth control failures, and my husband had a vasactemy after we were told more children would be a health risk for me.

          I love my children; I'd go to the ends of the earth for them. I'll fight Bush's illegal war, which they're both prime candidates to get drafted into should we move on to Iran.

          But the choice to have them was mine; the choice not to have more was mine, and I'd like to keep that choice out there for every other woman.

      •  What about adoption? (none)
        It seems that people are so hung up on breeding their own offspring.  I think it has to do with a primal urge to procreate.  Our instincts tell us to pass on our genetic material.  That's evolution after all.  We as human beings should strive to be above that though.  There are so many children that don't have any family.  I see kids being passed around the foster care system and they need someone to love them.  When people choose to breed another child into this world rather than adopt, there is a child that could have had a loving family that still does not.  I think it is one of the ultimate acts of compassion as a human being to adopt a child and nurture it.  To breed a new one into being is selfish.  I'm not saying that makes someone a bad person, just a bit selfish.  You don't NEED a son/daughter to carry your DNA.  To insist one's child contain their DNA is a bit conceited.  I know a lot of people that would argue with me but logically it's true.  Besides, you can get a child that's already potty trained.
    •  My friend had the opposite happen... (none)
      After the birth of their fourth son who was a second unplanned surprise, they decided to do both -- get her tubes tied, and get him the big snip.  The doctor had no problem with tying her tubes, but he had to have counseling before they would snip him -- they told him he might get divorced and remarried and want more kids.  He let them know how offensive and stupid they were being, and he got it done.  

      Geez.  I don't get it.  I can see making sure that the patient knows the consequences and is making an informed decision, but I hate that attitude that they know better than you what you want.  And why people think they have any right at all to think they should be allowed to have an say in decisions that are so wholly unconnected to them.  I mean, really, isn't it in their best interests to discourage liberals and feminists and all of us "America haters" to NOT have children to brainwash?  I am raising three liberal anti-republicans, who are willing to stand up to their friends and classmates when they praise the President and other republicans...

      Move along. There's nothing to see here.

      by jules too on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 03:18:36 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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