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View Diary: WH Press Briefing: Where to begin and WTF? (215 comments)

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  •  Late in this diary's life... (none)
    Rob Cordray's piece:

    CordrayJohn, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington.  Now according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush.  Everyone believed, at the time, there were quail in the brush.  And while the quail turned out to be a 78 year old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face.  John, he believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.  

    Stewart:  Rob, why, why if he had known, that Mr. Whittington was not a bird...if he had had that information, Rob, why would the vice president still have shot him in the face?  

    Cordray:  John, good question.  In a post-9/11 world the American people, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive.  To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

    Stewart:  Rob, that is, uh, I have to say, to my ears that is horrible that he would still do that.

    CordrayLook, John, the mere fact that we are even talking about how the VP drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised, wingless quail-tarts, is letting the quail know how we're hunting them.  Sure, right now those birds are laughing at us in that little covey of theirs

    Stewart:  Well, Rob, I'm not sure that birds laugh.

    Cordray:  Well whatever they do John...cooo.  They're cooing at us right now because here we are, talking openly about our plans to hunt them.  Jigs up, John, quails 1, America 0.  Happy?

    Stewart:  On a purely human level, on a human level, is the VP at least sorry.

    Cordray:  John, what difference does it make?  The bullets are already in the man's face.  Let's move forward across party lines as a people to get him some sort of mask.  Hindsight is 20/20, John, as was ironically, the shotgun the VP used to shoot his friend, a 78 year old man, in what can only be described as...his face.


    A couple more...

    On the Aaron Burr connection:

    Hamilton, Alexander Hamiliton, of course was shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political manuevering.  Whittington, was mistaken for a bird.

    Another great line by Stewart:

    What kind of hunting story begins with, "Getting out of your car?"  < Cheney voice>  As I, as I sighted the great beast before us, my hand was shaking. I could barely engage the parking break.  Slowly I turned off the AC and silenced my sub-woofers...and then...the tragedy.</ Cheney voice>

    Thanks to the power of TiVo.  ;-)  

    Arrogant lips are unsuited to a fool-- how much worse lying lips to a ruler - Proverbs 17:7

    by Barbara Morrill on Mon Feb 13, 2006 at 09:01:31 PM PST

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