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View Diary: "The only moral abortion is MY abortion" by Joyce Arthur (219 comments)

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  •  I was a far-right conservative (7+ / 0-)

    I know where you're coming from.  I wasn't exactly a I was a far-right conservative but I was an evangellical Christian.  I was a true believer who was saving himself for marriage... the whole thing, right?  
    Then in my late teens all the kids in my youth group started getting married. In every case it was because the girl had gotten pregnant.  I was so surprised.  These were the kids I thought were the most spiritual among us.  I realized that these friends weren't just having "accidents", they had been sexually active for quite a while.  I wasn't really angry, but I started to think that my struggle to stay "pure" with my girlfriend (actually fiance, because what 19 year old can abstain indefinitely?  "It's better to marry than to burn.") was just an act of self delusion and unrealistic denial.  
    A few years later after university and after I had left the whole Assembly of God experience behind I happened to to start going out with a girl who was a born again Christian.  Within three weeks we were sleeping together.  
    I asked her how she could justify her actions with her spiritual beliefs.  She said that she was a Christian but she thought God was just "old fashioned" and just didn't want people to have any fun.  She had not even the pretense of abstinence.  And she didn't feel like what she was doing was a sin at all.

    Of course she was from London...

    In any case, that's the kind of born again person I can deal with.  Someone who acknowledges and accepts the weirdness and inconsistencies within the system.  She had an aspiring career and I'm sure if she had gotten pregnant she would have had an abortion without much hesitation.  

    •  Another recovering AG kid (1+ / 0-)
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      AG kid here, too ... I know what you experienced and how horrible the guilt was that they held you down and mainlined into you.

      Good to see more recovering AG people here. Gives me hope.

      •  sadly... (3+ / 0-)
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        sj, splashy, wader

        I don't think I will ever truly recover.  

        I was an AG kid alright.  CA's, Royal Rangers, the whole thing.  I visited Jimmy Swaggert's church before he was caught with the prostitute on Airline Highway...

        My cousin was raised by a very secular family.  She cannot understand what's wrong with me.  She thinks I'm overreacting about the whole thing.  

        For a while I thought so too, thought that she might be right.  But I just can't shake it.  I absolutely cannot stand to talk to or even be around my parents and grandparents who are all still heavily into their religion.  I feel like I am a terrible person for being like this.

        I compare my situation to someone who has escaped from the guarded compound of some kind of pathological doomsday cult.  The cultists may have all been such nice people, but once you get away from there and get deprogrammed, your sanity depends on you never going back...  

        it's simply tragic.  

        •  bing!bing!bing! (0+ / 0-)

          As another former A/G, I have to nod my head and agree with all of this. Heck, my parents even picked out my (now-ex) husband. It has taken almost 15 years to get to the point I am now. But I still struggle every day.

          "History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce." -Karl Marx

          by Lainie on Thu Mar 23, 2006 at 11:11:08 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  Yes, you can (0+ / 0-)

          There is a way out of the mess they've left you in, but you can't just let it sit and hope it goes away. Your recognition that you've, in some way, escaped from these people and the danger they pose is a good start to understanding what was done to you, but you have to take the next step.

          If you want to talk about it offline (or if anyone else recovering from hardcore evangelical church abuse wants to talk about it), write me at ... there is life after church!

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