Being the owner of a cat, I agree - your way is a very good way, often the best way, to get that cat up the porch.  In a perfectly timed and prepared-for world, where the time existed for it, I would have liked this approach much better from Dean.

Unfortunately, another way is to start tough, then soften as you are then seen as "giving it up" to compromise, making sure you keep the kernel of what you really want all the while.  

My cat gets mad when I have to kennel him to go on longish trips, so he deliberately and in a showy way ignores me for a while to make known his displeasure once we're both home again.  I ignore him back, even turning away from him at times when I know he wants me to look at him.  Stupid as it sounds, the more I give him back what he's giving, and am not being cruel about it, the sooner he deicdes he wants attention from me.  When I give it, he thinks I'm folding like a house of cards, and life is better all around.

Given that the Dems are often seen as too wishy-washy, Dean doesn't entirely get hurt by starting tough, then mellowing out without sounding like he's caving in on what matters.  Also don't forget that the "pickup" phrase was around long before the broo-ha-ha over it, and was pushed hard by his opponents.

Decoupling race versus economic matters is important in the South (though it actually matters all over the country - the dirty little secret of the Northeast, for example, is that when African-Americans are seen as too dominant politically in the area, moderate Repugs tend to win more elections), but race has to eventually be addressed.  And while Dean should have been smoother in his approach, I think some folks will be inclined to give him more of a benefit of a doubt than you think because it wasn't seen as a wishy-washy attempt.