So we should be careful about assuming that some sort of taliban-like theocracy would result from a US pullout.

Iran is a better example: yes, the theocrats there still hold an enormous amount of power (and women suffer as a result) but a secular, pro-democracy movement is building. After years of rule by the mullahs, people are staring to rebel and demand more rights for everyone, including women.

In short: we have to allow people to live their own history, there are no shortcuts.