I think I've politely stated that the President's head is not up his rectum. I clearly would have noticed this by now. I have seen the President walk about frequently, and there is no medical evidence whatsoever that his head is where you believe it is. Imagine how funny he would look and sound if this were true? Therefore, it must be false.

Now, to play d----'s advocate (never say his name!), let's say the President's head was trapped inside his rectum. It seems clear to me that the best medical procedure would be to stomp down quickly and firmly on his torso, creating reverse pressure that would pop his head out of the rectum. It would be similar to squeezing a Jeno's pizza roll, or perhaps, a cat.