Daily Kos

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  •  sigh (3.96 / 51)

    I've loved this site for a long time, and I've been so disappointed by the recent swipes Kos has been taking at those working for women's rights, or for better representations of women in media.  How dare the "women's studies set" be offended by images that objectify women and play into ugly gender stereotypes! Just as it was a few weeks ago -- how DARE those ladies not toe the party line when the party starts hedging on supporting reproductive freedom!  Why does it seem so very obvious that if someone had produced an ad with offensive, stereotypical representations of other key Democratic constituencies, say African Americans or Jewish people, the criticism would be coming fast and furious on sites like this one.  But I guess we ladies just have no sense of humor.  With the climate here these days, I'm beginning to wait for a post to pop up chastising all the "feminazis" on this board who see problems with the ad.
    •  asdf (3.88 / 26)

      Good. I'm not the only one who thought Kos' post was ignorant.
      •  Not so much ignorant as very very young (4.00 / 13)

        I think a big key to this this is the age of the people involved.  There is no disputing kos' "cred"  or his right to say what he wants on his sight, but his attitude speaks to what he is- a very very young male - born in 1971- who hasn't walked in the shoes of a lot of the people who took offense at the ad.  His understanding is limited by his experience, imho.  I could be wrong, and certainly only he knows what his understanding is, but he surely sounds exactly like someone who doesn't understand because they weren't there, and female, during the early part of the fight for women's rights, and they aren't female today.  No matter how realized or sensitive you may be, if you aren't walking in a woman's body in this world, there's about 90 percent of what it's about to be a woman that you are simply never going to understand.  

        I agree there are some  important things that unite us, but I'm with those that think kos' post is a naive blunder of larger proportions than a lot of people are "getting."

        •  34 is "very very young"? (none / 1)

          WTF?

          "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation." - Pierre Trudeau

          by fishhead on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 11:10:45 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  I call bullshit (3.69 / 13)

          Oh, boo-hoo, it's so hard to understand women! Waah! They want special treatment, like being treated with respect, just like any other human being! Imagine that!

          "No matter how realized or sensitive you may be, if you aren't walking in a woman's body in this world, there's about 90 percent of what it's about to be a woman that you are simply never going to understand."  

        •  I have met many men 34 (3.87 / 24)

          and younger, even much younger, who are far wiser and more open-minded about feminism and much more.  Some have written award-winning papers in women's/gender studies.

          And I know many men far older than 34 who also are so -- and who have been fine mentors for me and many other women.  Some of these men teach in women's/gender studies.  Some of them helped support the call for the field to make it possible -- just as we wouldn't have the vote without the work of millions of women, yes, but the few good and fine men it took to vote for it.

          Misogyny has no age limits.  I would not expect anything from a man based on his age; I would look to his actions to reveal his mind.  As Kos did.

          "Let all the dreamers wake the nation." -- Carly Simon

          by Cream City on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 11:19:55 PM PDT

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          •  excellent point (4.00 / 3)

            I wasn't trying to cut kos any slack or excuse him.

             My point, somewhat cynical, was that it didn't surprise me, given his age.  His comments sounded pissy and juvenile to me, that was the character of them. They sounded like the comments of someone with no experience.  That's what I heard.  

            But-- as you pointed out-- that is just one part of this picture.  A direct shared experience is not necessary for  an empathetic understanding.

        •  Wait until he has a daughter (4.00 / 2)

          He might be less amused when the comments get directed toward her.
        •  My feelings too (4.00 / 11)

          "Young" is a relative term, but I too thought this smacked of someone who has not been involved all that much in non-virtual, face-to-face, endless-meetings where you (hopefully) learn some stuff about gender roles and politics.  I'm just surprised and disappointed.  If Kos had spent a lot of time working the politics of the left in the analog world, I think he would have a different, more nuanced approach to this subject.  My first reactions to his post were surprise, disappointment, and a sense that he must be a lot younger than I had thought.

          Now, I am neither a woman nor was I "there", deeply involved in major struggles for womens' rights.  But I have learned that not everyone enjoyed all the priviledges that I did growing up white, male, well enough off, straight, and American.  It took me a while to overcome my upbringing, and I said and did some pretty stupid things along the way when I started working with others who came from very different places.

          I think Kos is in the process of learning some of that stuff right now.  I do think that his flippant tone and choice of language are out of line.  I won't lose any sleep over it (plenty of other stuff for that) but count me in the "disappointed and mildly shocked" camp.  I expected better.

    •  Disappointing response from Kos (3.94 / 35)

      Way to be caustic and dismissive!

      However, despite your nastily insincere invitation to go someplace else, I think I'll hang out with those damn humorless women and the humorless men who understand that denigrating someone's complaint is not the way to win their friendship or respect.

      •  Wasn't Okrent (4.00 / 3)

        lambasted for this very thing?
      •  Innocent Question (none / 0)

        I may even agree with you. But I didn't see the ad. What's the beef?

        Now for kos' choice of words, womens' studies group? Ugh. Bad choice. Real bad choice.

        I'll let him answer for that.

        Everybody dies alone.

        by Armando on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 10:36:09 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Yeah..."women's studies" (4.00 / 5)

          And the ironic thing is that this lady was a molecular, cellular and developmental biology person who worked on

          Ta Da

          BREAST CANCER

          •  Again I won't defend it (none / 0)

            In fact, I'll severely criticize it. Should not have been said.

            But about the ad?

            Everybody dies alone.

            by Armando on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 10:49:04 PM PDT

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            •  I tried to say this (4.00 / 20)

              but kept getting drowned out at the time.

              A number of women have been feeling less valued at this site- you know, the pussy diary, the tone of the Naral stuff... lots of compounding things.

              So I wrote a diary trying to find out what women here were thinking and feeling- and trying to figure out how to get heard.

              The next day the Pie ad was up and it seemed like a good time to point out that it wasn't exactly adding to our sense of being valued and respected here.  It was never about sex- just context- and getting the greatest number of women to feel comfortable here so we could elect some democrats.

              Then Rod Serling came on ...

              •  Fair enough (none / 1)

                But I MUST quibble.

                And yes, dammit, I'll refer to myself here.

                On NARAL, I think my arguments just and proper in criticizing NARAL. Infact, I have serious problems with the counter arguments I face because I find them supremely dishonest, never addrressing my points.

                AndI take serous issue with the reaction of the women here on the Summers controversy. To be frank, the women did not step up for the most part.  Many did, colleen in particular. But NOTHING, nothing like this.

                And kos makes a good point, there is a lack of perspective on this ad it seems to me. To me Summers was supremely important. This is nothing to that issue. Where was the firestorm HERE on that?

                I'll tell you where it was - calling for my head.

                So while it is clear that kos made a serious mistake here on attitude and language - I find the defense of NARAL to have been not a good example and the reaction of the women of dailykos on Summers to have been weak.

                So I think no one here has been perfect.

                Except me of course. Heh.

                Everybody dies alone.

                by Armando on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 11:14:03 PM PDT

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                •  I think this issue (4.00 / 8)

                  got so big because our sense of disenfranchisement had been growing.  I agree with you on many of your individual points, but the feeling that was left behind made a number of women look around and say  "Whoa."
                •  Damn (none / 0)

                  People wanted you booted because you were mad at Summers?  Damn.

                  I didn't really have an opinion on that brouhaha, though I was leaning away from yours.  But damn.

                  I don't even call for your head because you say "heh" any more.  Heh.

                •  you're persistent.. (4.00 / 4)

                  it seems to me that it was the order of events.  had NARAL happened before Summers, the Summers dialogue would have been different.

                  hard as we try to hold political discourse to laws of logic, we don't usually succeed.  this place is a bubbling cauldron that reacts differently to the same thing at different points in time.

                  you and kos first convinced me on NARAL.  then the dialogue persuaded me to the other side (lurker, always).  but the dialogue/aftershocks really opened wounds, I think, and we're freshly aware that even the progressive wing of the democratic party is willing to play ball with the "pro-life" position.  and this is now considered a perfectly reasonable request.

                  so that sets up a very different dynamic.

                  your treatment of summers was commendable, however.  I missed the attempt to mutiny, I would have defended.

                  but kos' comments have painted him into the corner as someone who does not respect women.  willing to defend and respect are two very different things.

                  •  Persistent (4.00 / 2)

                    is a nice word for what I am.

                    On NARAL, I amnot sure what convinced you to disagree with me again but I would be interested to find out.

                    Persistence you know. Heh.

                    BTW, kos and I have differentposiitons on NARAL, he objected to their PERCEIVED muscling out of Langevin.

                    I thought NARAL was not only right but REQUIRED to fight against Langevin and in favor of a pro-choice Dem.

                    My beef with NARAL is their endorsementof a Republican when a Dem candidate who is BETTER than the the Republican is available to support.

                    A Republican majority in the Senate is BAD for pro-choice folks. NARAL betrayed its cause.

                    Everybody dies alone.

                    by Armando on Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 12:38:12 AM PDT

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                    •  I think I know the answer, but (4.00 / 5)

                      My beef with NARAL is their endorsement of a Republican when a Dem candidate who is BETTER than the the Republican is available to support.

                      a pro-life dem, or a pro-choice dem?  if you're talking about a pro-choice dem only, than I am still with you.

                      but from NARAL's perspective a pro-life democrat can never be better than a pro-choice republican, because the right to choose is not something they will or should ever subjugate to the whims of the democratic party, else why do they exist?

                      the frame that persuaded me was racism, which is so ahborrent we would never conceive of asking african-americans or jews to support a segregationist or anti-semite for the long-term interest of the party that supported them.

                      but there is something else.  two months ago we read "what's the matter with kansas" in our dfa bookclub, and there was a particular story that stood out to us as chilling.  

                      frank talks about the week that kansas city was taken over by the new radical conservatives in one fell swoop.  demonstrations were planned outside of abortion clinics during a convention.  police recommended that clinics shut down for a week.  all clinics shut down.

                      the news that the protesters shut down abortion clinics raged like a forest fire as radical kansas conservatives (previously a negligable group) called for enforcement across the nation.  thousands upon thousands descended in kansas city and lay down in front of cars and chained themselves to fences and stayed in kc over the summer since they had a mission there.  they were going to complete the job.  and they changed the face of kc politics.

                      support for the pro-life movement is coming from fresh sources: people worried about racial imbalance, population implosion, genetic selection (which genes tend to get aborted?).  we have to start dialogues about new concerns, not find ways to accomodate.

                      I don't believe anymore that dems can break rank on this issue in terms of new candidates.  

                      a more exhaustive address than you were requesting, but I think I'm trying to convince you.

                •  Summers is on a different planet (4.00 / 11)

                  I objected to Summer stuff - and here on Kos.  My reaction to the pie fight was just to make a snark. Frankly, I thought the ad silly, junior high level stuff - and wildly inappropriate for this site, but not worth making a big deal over. I did look at it, expected a real groaner of an anti-Repub site of some kind. Oh, I was wrong.

                  The reason this issue got so much more play from women than the Summers debacle, is that:

                  1. it's visual, with fake boobs in your face at eye level when you are reading diaries and comments. Summers obviously isn't visual. And,

                  2. this stuff is personal.

                  Now, Mr. Summers attitudes are very important to me, and likely more important period, IMO. However, I'm an academic, and that made the Sumner stuff salient to me, as I've had to live with those attitudes throughout my career. In short, personal.

                  The Pie Fight stuff is something a lot of women have to deal with   frequently, too. Plane flights by "Hooter's Air". Business meetings at strip joints. A breast-laden advertising culture. And while a few of us on Kos are female academics, many more of us have experienced the sometimes less-than-thrilling experience of being around guys who are boob-obsessed. Nothing wrong with having breasts, liking them, admiring them, etc. But when they go up on a political website, you can expect that they will become conflated with the political content.

                  And it is kind of interesting that women are expected to put up with this kind of thing, while many fewer men or women would put up with exactly the same sort of thing were the humor done at the expense of religion, ethnicity, or race.  It's interesting that a friend looking over my shoulder remarked that that's what we should expect from a young male of Latino-Greek background, referring to Markos. Now that is an ethnic slur (which I do not intend), but it illustrates the problem, I think.

                  What I do find troubling is Kos's comments. I frankly expect someone with his political savvy to be wiser. And also, when he goofs, as he has this time, I expect more grace in apologizing about an overreaction, without leaving up insulting coments. Frankly, Kos sounds like he needs to spend more time around women - relatives don't count here.

                  It's the attitude, Kos. Yours.

                •  Silly me.... (4.00 / 5)

                  I didn't realize this issue was all about Armando, and Armando's diaries, and people's responses to Armando's diaries, and Armando's opinion of people's responses to Armando's diaries....
                •  Lots of us don't buy the notion (4.00 / 2)

                  On NARAL, I think my arguments just and proper in criticizing NARAL. Infact, I have serious problems with the counter arguments I face because I find them supremely dishonest, never addrressing my points.

                   that supporting men like Casey and Langevin (and thus Democrats) will preserve reproductive rights. Indeed, we believe (and not without reason) that the party has decided to jettison these issues or lower the bar to bravely defending contraceptives, a position which has like a 92% approval rating rather than the 72% approval that preserving Roe has. We likewise do not buy the notion that polls this early out tell us much about reality in '06.

                  AndI take serous issue with the reaction of the women here on the Summers controversy.

                  I absolutely agree with this. I wasn't too fond of the reactions of many men either.

                  And kos makes a good point, there is a lack of perspective on this ad it seems to me. To me Summers was supremely important. This is nothing to that issue. Where was the firestorm HERE on that?

                  The issue is no longer the ad, at least I don't think so. the issue is the reactions to the ad in subsequent threads.

                •  re: NARAL (none / 1)

                  bullshit.

                  I'm still waiting to hear people tell me how NRA should not have given Dean an "A" because he was a Democrat.

                  You advocate advocacy, but evidently don't get ideological advocacy... it's groups that advocate for principles rather than for extant groups.

                  kos has a blind eye for these issues and why they are primary principles.

                  Re: the ad didn't bother me a bit, bothered me less than the guy pissing on the "W".  But ads don't bother me much just because they are pedestrian or campy.

                •  I love your passion and fire! (none / 1)

                  You are definitely one of the reasons I stick around. Plus, I get to feel less guilty about my style of argument when there's somebody around who argues a similar way.  :-)

                  I did weigh in on the Summers thing briefly. But it was only one comment. Frankly I agreed with your position on Summers' responsibility as an administrator, not an academic, to choose his words carefully.

                  But you shouldn't generalize about the reasons more women didn't jump in on this bandwagon.  For my part, I just think of academia as just another big business in this country. Sadly, I lost my respect for US academic institutions -- especailly the "elite" institutions -- long ago. They have, within the past 10 years or so, become nothing more than educational mills/money makers in the eyes of the deans and presidents. So this outrages me no more/no less than any other corporate outrage. And, frankly, I can't keep up with my corporate outrage!

                  I apologize for my feeling on this, but that's a whole different topic!

                  White woman over 50 for OBAMA!! (Endorsed 10/07)

                  by Glinda on Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 01:39:26 PM PDT

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        •  Armando.... (none / 0)

          I would suggest that you go look at the ad yourself and perhaps read some of the previous "pie fight" diaries to acquaint yourself with this subject...

          however, I (too) have no fucking clue about what everyone is on about... i didn't look at the ad or read any of the diaries either.

          But... upon reading Kos's front-page response to the pie fighter, I thought of you.

    •  I've noticed this too (4.00 / 11)

      And I think it is a serious problem.

      Kos has some explaining to do.

      I'm not part of a redneck agenda - Green Day
      Neither is California High Speed Rail

      by eugene on Sun Jun 05, 2005 at 10:21:53 PM PDT

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