been together 4 years, not married...but we're lucky that we met the standards the State of Texas requires to be considered a heterosexual domestic partnership, including a joint bank account, co-ownership of a house, driver's licenses showing the same address, etc.  Had to meet like 4 out of 10 or something like that. (I am also lucky to have a good employer).

I agree with you, the process should be simpler for everyone.  Using only marriage or the lack thereof as a determinant for health insurance coverage is wrong, not only on the discrimination side of things but wrong because it denies so many people the coverage that they deserve.