Because that whole cycle of action/reaction on the part of Obama and the gay community led me to believe that 1) Obama does not know who gay people are and 2) he believes that there is something wrong with them.

Obama didn't do himself any favors with the McLurkin incident with progressives, that's for sure.  but he was going after black evangelicals, recruited a performer popular with the constitutency.  Ludacris has also performed on Obama's behalf, does that mean Obama has to endorse all of his sentiments?  no.

actually, DKos people and serious internet political nerds like me are the only people who even know about the McLurkin thing.  the weekend it happened he was on Ellen that very Monday morning telling her that he believed it was "so unfair" to gay people that they had no civil protections.

that is what Obama believes, he wants equality under the law for gay americans.  the thing he did wrong was fail to repudiate a homophobic gospel singer who performed on his behalf - but to his credit he did ask him not to speak about politics.