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I hate the emails bashing Dems the most. I have canned responses, though, so I don't get them quite as often as I used to. Here's an example that I've used to defeat the evil minions:
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You remember that elected officials put a hand on the Bible and swear to defend the Constitution-- NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: Your God is mighty enough to survive even if you don't force others to worship him. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You learned as a child to be considerate of others, and still practice that consideration as an adult. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You give the same respect to other faiths and beliefs that you would like to receive for your own. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: Your devotion to America and what it stands for goes deeper than a song. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know that treating all veterans with respect means not beggaring their families, nor throwing their lives away just to bump your party's popularity by a few points. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You may never have burned an American flag, but you understand the patriotic rage at injustice done in our names that could lead someone to want to. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You understand WHY you believe what you believe, so that you aren't afraid to listen to different beliefs, no matter who is speaking. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You earn the respect of those younger than you, and expect your elders to do the same. You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You pay your taxes without whining, because we're all in this together. If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You remember that elected officials put a hand on the Bible and swear to defend the Constitution-- NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: Your God is mighty enough to survive even if you don't force others to worship him.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You learned as a child to be considerate of others, and still practice that consideration as an adult.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You give the same respect to other faiths and beliefs that you would like to receive for your own.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: Your devotion to America and what it stands for goes deeper than a song.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know that treating all veterans with respect means not beggaring their families, nor throwing their lives away just to bump your party's popularity by a few points.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You may never have burned an American flag, but you understand the patriotic rage at injustice done in our names that could lead someone to want to.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You understand WHY you believe what you believe, so that you aren't afraid to listen to different beliefs, no matter who is speaking.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You earn the respect of those younger than you, and expect your elders to do the same.
You ARE a TRUE AMERICAN if: You pay your taxes without whining, because we're all in this together.
If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
[-6.25, -5.59] "The love you take is equal to the love you make." - J. Lennon, P. McCartney
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:09:27 AM PDT
[ Parent ]
:::::yoink!:::::
consider that stolen! :)
"Do not freak. All things pass." - escapee
by Pandoras Box on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:13:00 AM PDT
My response to the next winger email my grandmother sends me!
In other words - stolen(x2)
You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!
by Moody Loner on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:20:33 AM PDT
Actually, I ...er...um... borrowed it from you some time back. Thanks for posting it again.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. Adlai E. Stevenson [-4.75, -4.51]
by lamzdotes on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:24:55 AM PDT
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:45:48 AM PDT
"This is not our America and we need to take it back." John Edwards.
by mcmom on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:57:29 AM PDT
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:06:43 AM PDT
It's exactly what I need, to reply to the winger nonsense that shows up in my inbox occasionally.
McCain '08: Same crap, different asshole. -- Hunter
by snazzzybird on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:25:26 AM PDT
after receiving one of the disgusting POS emails and have used it several times myself.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:46:41 AM PDT
He's the one, true author of that piece.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:05:47 AM PDT
As I said, I'm glad it lives on.
So long as men die, Liberty will never perish. -- Charlie Chaplin, "The Great Dictator"
by khereva on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:54:19 AM PDT
I'm assuming you're okay with this being borrowed. :-)
by tj iowa on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:46:08 AM PDT
I'd be honored, since I came up with it myself.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:47:24 AM PDT
Sorry for taking credit for writing it. I was actuall written by khereva. It turns out I penned the last one linked here.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:04:18 AM PDT
That's a great one. My girlfriend's father and uncle like to forward us ridiculous e-mails... except that everyone else in their family is a Democrat if not a solid lefty, so there's always a lot of fun replies.
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. -- George Orwell
by nilocjin on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:52:41 AM PDT
let me say I feel warm knowing it's still used.
:-)
by khereva on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 06:56:09 AM PDT
Really? That's the one you wrote? Sorry for taking credit for it. This must be the one I wrote then:
You Might Be A True American... ...if you can see the good in all the people you meet, regardless of where they came from, what language they speak and how they worship; You Might Be A True American... ...if you don't care what other people do with their bodies or their hearts in private; You Might Be A True American... ...if you are repelled by the thought of torture; You Might Be A True American... ...if you've read the Constitution and discussed its meaning with many people, even those who have opinions that don't match yours; You Might Be A True American... ...if you have enough skepticism to be doubtful of those in authority, even when what they tell you matches your own personal beliefs; You Might Be A True American... ...if you know our country's history, including the parts where we failed to live up to our ideals -- and you are committed to helping our nation live up to its promise and its promises; You Might Be A True American... ...if you understand the difference between religious belief and civil organization; You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that fellow citizens who may be offended by phrases like "One Nation Under God" are also True Americans and deserve just as much respect as you -- and are as likely to make significant contributions to the Common Good as you are, too; You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that all cultures everywhere around the world teach their children to respect elders and recognize their wisdom; You Might Be A True American... ...if you know that the only correct way to dispose of an American flag (according to the flag code) is to burn it; You Might Be A True American... ...if you can recognize and shun hatred and bigotry even when they wear the smiling masks of patriotism; You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that "The Star-Spangled Banner" is essentially impossible for anyone but a trained singer to sing, regardless of what language it's in.
You Might Be A True American... ...if you can see the good in all the people you meet, regardless of where they came from, what language they speak and how they worship;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you don't care what other people do with their bodies or their hearts in private;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you are repelled by the thought of torture;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you've read the Constitution and discussed its meaning with many people, even those who have opinions that don't match yours;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you have enough skepticism to be doubtful of those in authority, even when what they tell you matches your own personal beliefs;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you know our country's history, including the parts where we failed to live up to our ideals -- and you are committed to helping our nation live up to its promise and its promises;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you understand the difference between religious belief and civil organization;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that fellow citizens who may be offended by phrases like "One Nation Under God" are also True Americans and deserve just as much respect as you -- and are as likely to make significant contributions to the Common Good as you are, too;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that all cultures everywhere around the world teach their children to respect elders and recognize their wisdom;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you know that the only correct way to dispose of an American flag (according to the flag code) is to burn it;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you can recognize and shun hatred and bigotry even when they wear the smiling masks of patriotism;
You Might Be A True American... ...if you recognize that "The Star-Spangled Banner" is essentially impossible for anyone but a trained singer to sing, regardless of what language it's in.
Or maybe it was this one:
OK, so I got this stupid email from a dear friend and felt compelled to make my own response. See what you think: 22 Ways to be a good Republican You have to believe that an embryo headed for the incinerator is more important than the lives of the infirm, the crippled and the elderly. You have to believe that businesses are always looking out for the interests of consumers and that they can regulate themselves. You have to believe that Cuba is bad because it's communist. Vietnam and China, not so much. You have to believe that the human body is NEVER a suitable subject for art. You have to believe that man has no impact whatsoever on the environment, and that the earth was created so man can use it up. You believe gay marriage will somehow diminish the importance of your own. You have to believe that AIDS doesn't matter because it affects "those" people. You believe that everything that is wrong with our education system is on the shoulders of our teachers, despite the fact that classroom size has doubled since you went to school. You have believe that "hunting" for animals that were caged just before you showed up to hunt is ok, and that shooting your friend in the face is no big deal. You have to believe that cronyism is normal, and that the Good Old Boys club has worked fine for years. You pay to see Mel Gibson movies. You can't remember if elected officials put a hand on the Bible and swear to defend the Constitution-- or is it the other way around? You wage a war and cut taxes. Really, WTF? You have no idea who Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are. You believe that learning to the tests trumps testing what you've learned. You still think that G.W. would be a great guy to have a beer with. You think that denying our kids, our elderly, our retirees and our injured troops affordable health care reeks of socialism. You believe that conservatives CAN tell the truth. You believe that this is a Christian country and if you don't like it you can leave. You have to believe that returning suspect campaign funding is bad, but lining your pockets with domestic business money from the likes of Halliburton, Lockheed Martin and Blackwater makes you a patriot. You believe that there is such a thing as 'the liberal media.' You believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and that George Bush has a clue.
OK, so I got this stupid email from a dear friend and felt compelled to make my own response. See what you think:
22 Ways to be a good Republican
I know I wrote one of them, damnit!
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:02:20 AM PDT
Those two are quite good, too!
by khereva on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 07:04:12 AM PDT
I think there's a misprint in your second one (I love them both, by the way). You have there:
You think that denying our kids, our elderly, our retirees and our injured troops affordable health care reeks of socialism.
You meant "granting" rather than "denying" right?
by nilocjin on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:02:09 AM PDT
Good catch. I'm fixing it in my copy now. Thanks.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:04:36 AM PDT
is redolent of socialism.
What is Feminist Theology? - 8.75, -5.59.
by dirkster42 on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:27:23 AM PDT
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:30:06 AM PDT
God help the next time I get one of those winger mails, I'm sending these to everybody.
by Moody Loner on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 09:11:55 AM PDT
"He not busy being born is busy dying." R. Zimmerman
by RUKind on Thu Jan 17, 2008 at 01:37:41 PM PDT
Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby
by riverlover on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:00:57 AM PDT
I belong to no organized political party, I'm a Democrat. -Will Rogers
by geez53 on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:07:37 AM PDT
by geez53 on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:10:13 AM PDT
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:15:30 AM PDT
was informed last night that the area repub party is having their fall dinner at the night job on sat...cash bar AT the bar...meaning i have to pretend to be nice to them...the manager was very clear: i'm not allowed to wear my john edwards tshirt or sweatshirt, in fact i'm not even allowed to identify myself as a dem and i'm not allowed to do anything to pitts drink! i think I'm gonna NEED a few hundred drinks and a few hundred showers when i get home that night!
"We have President Homer" - Jon Stewart 1/8/08
by Spedwybabs on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:18:00 AM PDT
Too bad you can't wear ear and nose plugs.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:21:19 AM PDT
Do bartenders make more money in tips from us or them?
Possum for Congress Peace is possible. Jerry Northington.
by llbear on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:26:24 AM PDT
know after sat...but i'm gonna guess from us...cause many of us know what it's like to work for tips and thus tip at least normally if not better
i know...i should email all my dem friends and tell them to come to the sutter for dinner or drinks sat night LMAO and tell them to be sure and wear their candidate stuff :)
by Spedwybabs on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 09:06:19 AM PDT
by llbear on Thu Jan 17, 2008 at 08:08:28 PM PDT
and babble like a GOOPer. Remember - they have the big bucks. Play it right and you might make a killing in tips.
GWOT - Global War on Terra(-firma) - Bush's War on the Planet.
by grndrush on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:56:25 AM PDT
It's all about making and KEEPING everything. I wouldn't count on big tips from the likes of them.
by Phil N DeBlanc on Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 10:42:33 AM PDT
wide narrow
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