It's not just about looks, but about cathexis, where you feel the loved one's heart/mind is akin to yours, ie, your "soulmate." So often the people we fall in love with are not really who we think they are, but what we project onto them. So while my metaphors may be snarky, I'm grappling with genuine "romantic"--ie, idealistic--impulses. The thoughts/feelings I THINK  JE has are similar to the ones I have, thus I am attracted.  (I really am not drawn to his looks--my husband has never cut his hair or beard--freaks forever, I say...)

BUT--that may be useless in terms of my dearest goals, which is to see progressive change effected in this country.