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View Diary: Palin Pranked (832 comments)

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    Working from CatM's great transcript, I changed a few things, added in the French and explained the cultural references.

    SP Assist: This is Betsy.
    MA: Hello, Betsy. This is Frank l’ouvrier (Frank the worker], I’m with President Sarkozy, on the line for Governor Palin.

    SP Assist: One second please, can you hold on one second please?
    MA: No problem.

    SP Assist: Hi, I’m going to hand the phone over to her.
    MA: Okay thank you very much I’m going to put the president on the line.
    SP Assist: Ok he’s coming to the line.

    SP: This is Sarah.
    MA: Okay, Governor Palin?

    SP: Hellloooo...(long drawn out, like Well, hellooooo)
    MA: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
    SP [To someone in the room]: Oh, it’s not him yet, I always do that. I’ll just have people hand it to me right when it’s them.

    FNS: Yes, hello, Governor Palin? Yes, hello, Mrs. Governor?
    SP: Hello this is Sarah., how are you?

    FNS: Fine, and you, this is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
    SP: good, it’s so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.

    FNS: Oh, it’s a pleasure.
    SP: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you and thank you for spending a few minutes to talk to me.

    FNS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American Advisor Johnny Hallyday (the most famous French singer, looks like and sings like Elvis), you know?
    SP: Yes! Good!

    FNS: Excellent! Are you confident?
    SP: Very confident and we’re thankful that the polls are showing that the race is tightening and--

    FNS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now my dear?
    SP: Ah, I feel so good. I feel like we’re in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon, you get your second wind and you plow to the finish—

    FNS: You see, I got elected in France because I’m real and you seem to be someone who’s real as well.
    SP: Yes, yeah, Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity.

    FNS: You know, I see you as a president, one day, you too.
    SP: [Muahaaa...weird laugh], maybe in 8 years. Haha

    FNS: Well, ah, I hope for you. You know we have a lot in common because personally one of my favorite activities is to hunt too.
    SP: [Giggle]o h very good, we should go hunting together.

    FNS: Exactly! We could go try hunting by helicopter, like you did, I never did that.
    SP: [Giggle]

    FNS: Like we say in France, "on pourrait tuer des bébés phoques aussi" [Translation: We could also kill some baby seals.]
    SP: [Giggle] Well I think we could have a lot of fun together as we’re getting work done, we can kill two birds with one stone that way.

    FNS: I just love killing those animals. Mm, mm. Take away a life, that is so fun!
    SP: [Hahahaha]

    FNS: I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring your Vice president Cheney, hahaha.
    SP: No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.

    FNS: You know we have a lot in common also except that from my ass I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you.
    SP: Well, see, we’re right next door to other countries that we all need to be working with, yes.

    FNS: Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in foreign relations, and you know, that’s completely false, that’s the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stef Carse [Stephen Harper is the PM and Stef Carse is a Quebecois country singer who covered Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart in French in the 90s].
    SP: Well, he’s doing fine, too, and yeah when you come into a position underestimated, it gives you the opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder-

    FNS: I, I was wondering because you are also next to him, one of my good friends, also, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois [a famous Quebec radio host], have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
    SP: Uh, haven’t seen him at one of the rallies, but it’s been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor; we have a great cooperative effort there as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country, even, with that beautiful family of yours.

    FNS: Thank you very much. You know my wife, Carla, would love to meet you. You know even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today. [Hahahaha]
    SP: [Hahahha] Well give her a big hug from me.

    FNS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
    SP: Oh my goodness! I didn’t know that.

    FNS: Yes, in French, it’s called "Du rouge à lèvres sur une cochonne" [Translate: Lipstick for a sow literally (but not properly) but it actually means an uninhibited girl] or if you prefer in English Joe the Plumber, [sings] It’s his life, Joe the Plumber..."
    SP: Maybe she understands  some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism like

    FNS: I just want to be sure, I don’t’ quite understand the phenomenon "Joe the Plumber," that’s not your husband, right?
    SP: Mmhmm, that’s into my husband but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.

    FNS: Yes, yes, I understand, we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France, it’s called, "Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit, oui."
    SP: Right. That’s what it’s all about, is the middle class, and government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.

    FNS: I  seen a bit about NBC even Fox News wasn’t an ally, an ally, sorry, about as much as usual.
    SP: Yeah that’s what we’re up against.

    FNS: I must say, Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life, you know, Hustler’s "Nailin Palin."
    SP:  Oh, good, thank you. Yes.

    FNS: That was really edgy.
    SP: [Laughs] Well good.

    FNS: I really love you. And I must say something, so, Governor, you’ve been pranked.
    By the Master Avengers. We’re two comedians from Montreal
    SP: Oohhh have we been pranked? And what radio station is this? [tries to force herself to sound nice but you can tell she’s pissed]

    FNS: This is for CKOI in Montreal.
    SP: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters
    [SP leaves phone, continuous griping in background, sounds like, "For chrissakes...that was ??? Just a radio station prank...chrissakes..."]

    MA: Hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.
    [Man’s voice in background: hang up, hang up.]
    SP Assist: Hi, I’m sorry, I have to let you go. Um, thank you.

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