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Grass-stained from working outside yesterday. There's a plastic practice golf ball in his pocket, but it looks too clean to have been used.
That he's not about to come through the door, smiling and ready to tackle anything, seems impossible.
by Devilstower on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:29:26 AM PDT
and will keep you in my thoughts. I lost my father in February, and his sweater hangs from a hook where I can see and touch it when I need to. Peace.
Searching for corrupt, lobbyist loving John McCain?
by Lisa Lockwood on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:31:21 AM PDT
[ Parent ]
my father died 22 years ago and I still have his favorite sweater. I wear it when I'm sad and it always brings comfort.
Eyes on the Prize - JedReport
by juslikagrzly on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:40:05 AM PDT
that has both my father's and my mother's initials on it. I treasure that modest piece of jewelry.
I also occasionally wear other small items from my mother and my deceased sister-by-choice to hold them close in times of challenge (such as a difficult meeting). In those times, I remind myself that I'm "wearing mom" or "wearing sister" and it gives me strength.
July 9, 2008 -- I watched helplessly while Congress destroyed my Constitution. R.I.P.
by bleeding heart on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:50:10 AM PDT
every day. I never take it off, in fact. I have to wear on my middle finger b/c it's too big but I don't mind. It reminds me of his love and brings me comfort.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Devilstower.
You are a child of the universe; no less than the trees and the stars... Desiderata
by byteb on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:58:43 AM PDT
I still use it whenever my putting stroke goes south (most of the time). If I could be half the putter my dad was I'd be better than the 3.9 index that I am.
Miss you dad.
Devilstower, your dad sounds like he was one hell of a guy.
Even not knowing him, we will all miss him.
You may say I'm a skeptic. But I doubt it.
by SCREAMING MODERATE on Tue May 20, 2008 at 11:42:09 AM PDT
My Great Grandfather settled in Eureka, CA.
On 5 April, 1933, by Presidential Executive Order 6102, Roosevelt issued an order "Forbidding the Hoarding of Gold Coin, Gold Bullion and Gold Certificates By virtue of the authority vested in me by Section 5(b) of the Act of October 6, 1917, as amended by Section 2 of the Act of March 9, 1933.
To capture that moment in a way of certain defiance he had a local jeweler make a $2 gold coin into a simple necklace.
When my Great Grandmother passed away in the 1970's she passed the necklace to my Grandmother, who passed away in the 1980's and she to my Mother who passed away in 1992. From the time I could remember in Eureka I was shown that necklace and they each promised it to me when my Mother was gone. I wear it everyday and
it reminds me of a free spirited young man who defied the powers that be to proclaim that gold was still evident, visible, just like our freedom.
I kind of like that a lot and I love wearing this living moment in history as a reminder of our cherished freedoms.
I grieve for you and for the loss of your Father, he sounds like he was a majestic powerful soul who changed all who crossed his path, with is personal power. May God rest his soul and may you all find comfort in the great legacy he has left unto you all in Kentucky
by IngeniousGirl on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:10:01 PM PDT
is his name -- well, the feminine version of it. :)
No, they weren't expecting a boy -- they chose the name before I was born; if I'd been a boy it would have been Matthew for some odd reason.
"Old soldiers never die -- they get young soldiers killed." -- Bill Maher
by Cali Scribe on Tue May 20, 2008 at 07:58:14 PM PDT
I'm so afraid it will wear apart. It is very modest gold band
by TNforkerry on Tue May 20, 2008 at 11:38:26 AM PDT
Your dad sounds like a great man, and I am sure your family and those whose lives he touched will miss him.
I lost my dad almost three years ago and I still miss him.
These passings are as difficult as they are universal and inevitable.
I still wear my dad's sweaters, and sometimes wear his ties.
May the one who grants peace, grant peace to you and your family and all of humanity.
"Speak out, judge fairly, and defend the rights of oppressed and needy people." Proverbs 31:9
by zdefender on Tue May 20, 2008 at 11:53:12 AM PDT
I wore my late mother's gold wristwatch. Her parents had given it to her when she graduated from college in 1943, with her initials engraved on the back.
She would have been so proud of me to finally have achieved this academic goal, and it comforted me to be able to touch it, think about when she received it, remember all the times I saw her absent-mindedly winding it, and conjure up the way her face looked on those occasions when she gazed on me in love and pride.
After the commencement exercises were complete and I was back home with my family and friends at the wonderful BBQ that Mr. JBL55 threw for me, I showed my niece Mom's watch, and she showed me she was wearing a pair of Mom's earrings. She told me she planned to wear them when she graduates college next spring, and I told her I'd bring the watch so she could wear that, too.
Wearing Mom's college graduation watch when one is graduating from college: sounds like we are creating a fine new family tradition!
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don't. (-5.25, -4.97)
by JBL55 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 12:16:47 PM PDT
I have always resented that the artist should be relegated by the politician to a place with no voice in political or human affairs. -- Errol Flynn
by Mlle Orignalmale on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:26:54 PM PDT
She gave it to me a year before she died because she knew how much I loved it and wanted to see me enjoy it. It has never been off my finger since. It is 88 years old.
The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all - JFK- 5/18/63-Vanderbilt Univ.
by oibme on Tue May 20, 2008 at 02:29:50 PM PDT
do the same thing, it makes me feel close to her. She treasured her wedding band. Several years ago, she was admitted to the hospital with Congestive heart failure, it cause her to loss a lot of weight. When she came home, one day her wedding band fell off her hand and she was in a panic because she could not find it. She lived with us, I took care of her until the final two weeks of her life, my husband found it for her, and she was so happy, immediately, she put it on the gold chain she wore around her neck with her gold cross, she was very spiritual. She wore it until the day she was admitted to the hospital two weeks before her death. On that day she entrusted her beloved wedding band, gold chain and cross to me. It is my most treasured possession. I know it is just jewelery, but to me it is more, it is the only tangible item I have left of my Mom and Dad. It is tough to lose your parents, no matter how old they are, or how old you are.
by Vera Lofaro on Tue May 20, 2008 at 04:53:33 PM PDT
Poignant story. Thank you.
Be good to each other. It matters.
by AllisonInSeattle on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:37:13 PM PDT
I am married to a Harold Sumner also. My thoughts are with you. one year off 33. My other half joined the military to make a life for himself. Character is a great thing and one cannot shape it any other way. Peace be with you Devilstower.
PS: My other half he does not do blogs, but I did show him your diary.
by silverlil on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:49:22 PM PDT
wool knit cap that my Mom always called "the dorky hat". He died 14 years ago & I still have the dorky hat. The Sumner family has my deepest sympathy.
by evdebs on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:47:04 AM PDT
My father may have been the last man in North America who did not feel properly dressed without a hat. John Kennedy may have doomed the hat industry, but my dad never got the word.
by Devilstower on Tue May 20, 2008 at 03:13:34 PM PDT
The old guys really knew how to wear them, cocked a bit to the side they looked so dashing, even when they were insurance adjusters..
I'm sorry for your loss.
A society of sheep must beget in time a government of wolves. Bertrand de Jouvenel
by Little Red Hen on Tue May 20, 2008 at 05:04:46 PM PDT
I wrap myself in it and think of him.
by oxley on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:41:24 PM PDT
my father's favorite sweater. We call it The Hug. Like your father's, it always brings comfort.
by fallina7 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:00:46 PM PDT
I lost mine last October. My Dad had been ill for awhile, but it seems like yours died suddenly -- which is very difficult.
Condolences to you and your family.
Don't get me started . . .
by Upper West on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:13:50 AM PDT
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. - 9th Amendment
by TracieLynn on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:31:46 AM PDT
to your dad and to everyday heroes just like him among us everywhere.
My sincerest sympathy to you and your family.
Thank you.
by strengthANDwisdom on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:32:22 AM PDT
to your father.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
by sand805 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:35:36 AM PDT
On your loss.
My father passed away last September, and there is still not a day goes by I don't miss his presence.
Be strong. Honor his memory. From your post, it appears he was dead on in how he raised you - be proud of that and shine as an example of how good he must have been.
Take care.
An open mind and a closed mouth will increase your knowledge and decrease your explanations.
by Kretgar on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:37:36 AM PDT
May I bow to Necessity not/ To her hirelings (W. S. Merwin)
by Uncle Cosmo on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:18:27 AM PDT
your loss.
"The answer is to end our reliance on carbon-based fuels." Al Gore, 7/17/08
by TomP on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:37:46 AM PDT
Your dad's story reminded me of my maternal grandfather who died last June. Both WWII vets who built the American dream for themselves and allowed their children and grandchildren to have a good life. They cared about people, whether they were relatives or strangers.
Also, both frequent duffers of plastic practice golf balls.
Indeed, the greatest generation. Again, my best to you and your family.
"Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington."--Alice's Restaurant
by ekthesy on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:39:39 AM PDT
Tax Paradigms, Feed Imaginations
by jhpdb on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:43:58 AM PDT
Your father raised a wonderful, devoted son. That says a lot about his character.
Peace and blessings to you and your family at this very sad time.
by bleeding heart on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:44:58 AM PDT
...sort-of poem written by Henry Scott-Holland, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral from 1847-1918:
Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other That we are still Call me by my old familiar name Speak to me in the easy way you always used Put no difference into your tone Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed At the little jokes we always enjoyed together Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be ever the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort Without the ghost of a shadow in it Life means all that it ever meant It is the same as it ever was There is absolute unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind Because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you for an interval Somewhere very near Just around the corner All is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost One brief moment and all will be as it was before How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
by atomicswerve on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:47:48 AM PDT
Simply gorgeous. I need to get a tissue now, for I am thinking of my Mom.
Though a war may well be "too stupid," that doesn't prevent its lasting. Stupidity has a knack of getting its way. --Albert Camus
by GreenMtnState on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:33:32 AM PDT
i used to have it on a card on the wall and this post makes me want to look for that card again to put it with my mom's urn.
Politics is like driving. To go backward, put it in R. To go forward, put it in D.
by TrueBlueMajority on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:45:37 AM PDT
I used that in my words at my sister's service. She left on Easter this year. Great words and great comfort.
"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." -- William James
by AllanTBG on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:29:39 AM PDT
I shall print this and keep it close at hand.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. Adlai E. Stevenson [-4.75, -4.51]
by lamzdotes on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:40:14 AM PDT
for that poem, atomicswerve. A healing touch. thanks again.
oceanview
by oceanview on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:46:06 PM PDT
Have copied and pasted it to use this weekend.
My brother passed away one year ago at the young age of 40. We will be visiting and decorating his grave this weekend.
I bought a Golden Celebration rose bush for his gravesite. That poem is a perfect accompaniment.
by bronte17 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 05:32:21 PM PDT
Holes in the fabric of our lives, where our parents used to be. Eventually woven in with the loving memories of the times shared with them, but still, the outlines of the holes remain even after decades. I lost my Dad in 1974, my Mom in 1995. I miss them still, especially my Dad.
Peace to you this day and strength for the days ahead. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.
by Morrigan on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:50:43 AM PDT
by kharma on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:52:45 AM PDT
I know exactly how you feel right now, Mark.
The thing I learned then, and I hope you learn now, is that he will always be with you, in your memories, in your heart, and in everything that he left behind. He obviously left a lasting impression on not only you and your family, of course, but on his friends, his city, his country and his world.
At his funeral, find the funniest story you can about him, and tell it with as much gusto and verve as you can. The resulting laughter will be as cathartic a salve as anything else in the world.
NFTT Progressively supporting the troops
by Timroff on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:54:22 AM PDT
more than once.
Timroff, truer words were never written.
by sand805 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:04:21 AM PDT
God is in your spare change, your job is giving it to strangers. - Billy Jonas
by Audri on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:59:39 AM PDT
Then I catch myself and realize he is no longer here...and hasn't been for a few years.
A son never forgets.
My condolences to the bereaved.
"We are a Plutocracy, we ought to face it. We need, desperately, to find new ways to hear independent voices & points of view" Ramsey Clark, US AG
by Mr SeeMore on Tue May 20, 2008 at 12:24:48 PM PDT
by Timroff on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:09:47 PM PDT
I used to just call his old cell number and leave voicemail - until it got cut off... so now I send emails to his old email address. Thanks for saying it so well.
The Gods bless us by giving us what we need and curse us by giving us what we think we need.
by Hellenic Pagan on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:25:30 PM PDT
again, or so is my experience. My older cousins said they communed with their parents. I wondered about them. All I could feel was the loss.
Come to find out, following the pangs of loss... is the discovery of communion with them. Or so it has been for me also. Amazing transformation.
by AllisonInSeattle on Tue May 20, 2008 at 10:26:40 PM PDT
beautifully written and with love. you are so fortunate to have those years with such a strong and committed man. i am very sorry for your loss and can imagine how difficult this is for you. i lost my bf last year and see him live on through his children. no doubt we will see your admirable father live on through you. thank you for sharing this story of a very impressive and special man.
by conchita on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:54:42 AM PDT
My condolences; you know you've always got friends around here if you need them.
Sean Robertson Discharge John McCain!
by Sean Robertson on Tue May 20, 2008 at 08:58:23 AM PDT
We are here, and we're good listeners!
Love and blessings to all on this thread...
by Hellenic Pagan on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:27:05 PM PDT
for the day when it no longer feels like a knife-stab to think of him.
My deep sympathy to you. And thanks for sharing.
Democrats promote the Common good. Republicans promote Corporate greed.
by murasaki on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:04:08 AM PDT
My own father passed away suddenly 2 years ago. While his own health was in steady decline due to diabetes, he remained as active and involved. I still miss those long political conversations we used to have.
Cherish your sweet memories of him. They will help steady you through this difficult time. All my best wishes to you and your family.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - FDR
by Vitarai on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:07:05 AM PDT
Last week, my cousin died from heart failure at 38; his funeral was thursday past. He was a musician non pareil... could play anything... jazz, r&b, gospel, classical. I saw him last at my sister's wedding last summer when he accompanied me when I sang the Schubert 'Ave maria'. We'd talked about getting together and doing a CD and our schedules never let it happen. Like your father his supreme gift was his diligence; "good enough" was never good enough; if it was worth doing, it required his best... no excuses.
I think heaven has a seat for each of them reserved.
Bless you and yours in your hour of bereavement.
by awesumtenor on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:15:12 AM PDT
I cannot understand how you feel. My father died when I was six. I longed for a father, and have done my best to be a good one.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
"People should not be afraid of their government; governments should be afraid of their people." --V
by MikeTheLiberal on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:28:26 AM PDT
so impossible the loss, so deep the pain.
What a stunningly beautiful diary, Devilstower. I am so sorry for your loss. The man you describe is an American treasure; we need more of his like. Bless you and your family.
by GreenMtnState on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:30:32 AM PDT
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord And let light perpetual shine upon him.
Dems in 2008: An embarassment of riches. Repubs in 2008: Embarassments.
by Yamaneko2 on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:32:52 AM PDT
by Hellenic Pagan on Tue May 20, 2008 at 01:28:41 PM PDT
too. sorry for your loss, very moving eulogy.
"I said, 'Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man.'" Robbie Robertson
by NearlyNormal on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:35:44 AM PDT
thank you for posting during your time of grief. diaries like this make me proud to be part of the human race.
by zannie on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:36:18 AM PDT
died Jan. 6. All his family present at the bedside. I think I know how you feel. Even after 4 months it does seem impossible that he is gone from my life. So sorry for you and all the rest who have lost a much loved parent. oh god now I'm crying again, and I'm at work.
"Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear."
by sydluna on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:45:29 AM PDT
Thank you, Devilstower.
I am deeply moved by your wonderful eulogy.
```` peace
U.S. Mayors to Congress: "Pass H.R. 676 NOW"
by peace voter on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:51:04 AM PDT
I'm very sorry for your loss.
John McCain - all aboard the lobbyist express!
by jrooth on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:53:32 AM PDT
Holding you in my heart.
by Audri on Tue May 20, 2008 at 09:57:21 AM PDT
Your father was clearly an impressive man who had much to be proud of. Yet I'd venture a guess that his greatest pride was that he raised a son who would write this way about his father.
My Jewish ancestors believed that no one is truly gone who lives on in the memories of others. In that sense, your father lives on, and will continue to for decades to come.
I won't be complacent this time. Been there, done that, got the orange jumpsuit.
by Nowhere Man on
