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  •  You are only enabling her (0+ / 0-)

    you aren't actually supporting in a positive way the way you think.  

    I can only go based on what I read here, and so obviously that's a pretty limited source of information.  

    But folks with her symptom complex are pretty common actually.  And there are several unifying characteristics, all of which you are reporting.  

    Obviously I think what I said at the outset is right.  But I understand that applying it is very difficult.  There are all kinds of long term issues that need to slowly addressed; there's no magic pill or treatment.  

    But improvement is certainly possible.  

    Personally, I think you should have her psychiatrically evaluated from someone who actually knows what they are doing, then you should get a lawyer and file to reopen her earliest SSDI application.  There are certain ways that an old application can be reopened, and if there are psychiatric issues involved, those ways get a lot easier.  But if she hasn't worked in 15 years and abandoned her claim 14 years ago, it's going to be tough, but not impossible.  

    If she gets validated by SSA and gets medical coverage, things may get easier.  Then she can start embarking on the long term steps to recovery - and aerobic exercise, even though it may hurt, is a key part of that, along with the other treatment modalities.  

    I have been in your shoes, believe me.  I'm not minimizing her sympmatology.  It's real pain and real fatigue.  But there are slow steps that can be taken.  

    •  I'm sorry, but I must disagree... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      TiaRachel, ladybug53, Hens Teeth

      ..because I think you missed a point or two I was trying to make.  

      In essence, you are blaming her condition on a psychiatric "will" related issue.  Your statement implies that her condition is due to a mental motivation issue.  As I replied to one of your other messages a little up from here, your experiences were brutal, but they were fundamentally different.  If her situation was a lack of will and overcoming adversity as you suggest then she'd have been well many many many years ago.  I know of no human being that has a will like hers.  It may seem to you that it's not the case, but after a lifetime of dealing with this and fighting it tooth and nail with little to no progress to hear someone try and say that she's just not trying or that I'm enabling her is, well, insulting in it's ignorance and arrogance which is one of the main points I attempted to address in this diary.  In addition, as I said, doctors have specifically told her to quit trying to "force it" as you suggest.  

      The concept of "enabling" her is based on an assumption that much of her situation is "in her head".  To state that that's the core reason for her situation is short sighted and one of the very fundamental reasons she feels as she does.  Because it's just so easy to call it a mental issue, even you, trying to help in your own way, are still saying it's in her head.  How do you think she feels when she goes to one doctor and they say something like that, then the next says that doctor was nuts and that she shouldn't be hurting herself by forcing it too much?  (And no...the latter doctor isn't a quack, she's actually the only one who has found some methods of relief for her situation.  Whereas the other simply put her on SSRI's as you suggested which caused a whole separate range of issues.)  Putting someone in her condition on SSRI's simply because there is no proper medical reason for her situation is ludicrous.  

      No offense, but you cannot comprehend the situation she's in and that is clear.  No matter what you have been through, they are two different circumstances.  Again, if it was "will power" then she would be in great shape.  I wish she just had to recover from something as "black and white" as a neurological problem.  That would almost be easy to her in comparison.  At least then she would have a set diagnoses and goals to work towards.  A finger here, a toe there...but it's COMPLETELY different.

      If she were to break a leg or something similar today and had to rehab from it, she'd almost be happy to do it just so she would have a therapy to work on that would actually make a difference.

      Like I said you had some terrible recovery experiences and yours were truly a will/mind over body issue.  This situation is simply different.  

      •  No, I'm not saying that (0+ / 0-)

        I'm definitely not saying that's a "will" issue or anything like that.

        It's a real disorder, a real condition with real symptoms that adversely effect her ability to function.  

        I don't have a particularly strong will, and my situation was a lot different.  I had an acute thing and eventually I got better; that's not her situation.  

        I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm saying, because I'm not suggesting she's just weak or lazy or whatever.  In fact, I think she probably qualifies for SSDI benefits under their own standards because of the impact of her condition on her ability sustain functional capacity, as evidenced by its impact on her daily activities - which is the core of their method of analysis.  

        Please do not think I'm minimizing what she and you are going through, because I'm not.  I know it sucks, and it sucks hard.  

        But I do think there's a way to improve things, but I get that it is a slow and oftentimes painful road to recovery.  And it's not a smooth road, there will be setbacks for sure.  

        It's a multi-component sort of problem, and requires multiple treatment modalities to address adequately.  

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