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View Diary: Remembering Alicia: Domestic Violence Comes Home (285 comments)

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  •  I agree. (2+ / 0-)
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    Cream City, nonnie9999

    I've worked with abusive men for years and many of them are VERY good at conning.  Part of it is their own denial and their own certainty in their side of the story -- they really believe their reality, so it doesn't come across as lying.

    Others are out-and-out sociopaths with no denial.  They know exactly what they're doing, they know they're hurting people, they LIKE hurting people, and they have no qualms about lying to keep doing it.

    In my victim groups I get very much into the mindset/emotional state of abusers because I want people to understand WHY they act the way they do.  It's not enough to hand out a list of "Behavioral Characteristics of Abusers" because they don't usually show those obvious warning signs early on.  I want people to be able to catch the very, very subtle little red flags that often show up earlier.

    •  Question: (0+ / 0-)

      If they're good at conning others and enjoy it, shouldn't that be a tell? I can only say from personal experience, but I always assume that if someone is conning someone else, if someone is a cheater and a liar, that they intend to do the same to me.

      I've never found it difficult to id con-men to which I have any long-term exposure.

      Maybe part of the problem is a tendency to forgive, or withhold moral judgment on others?

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