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View Diary: Remembering Alicia: How Sexism Kills Women (246 comments)

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  •  Is it wrong for me to feel that (6+ / 0-)

    the death penalty be extended to include rape and child molestation? I know that retribution is a typical male reaction to something like that. But after growing up in a household where I saw my mother and sister abused. And having a friend who I cared deeply about beaten to death by her next door neighber because she wouldn't have sex with him. I can't help but to feel that some payback on those who perpetrate these things is in order. Especially now that I have a daughter of my own and a wife that I love dearly. Both of whom I would do anything in my power to protect from harm.

    "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

    by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:15:12 PM PDT

    •  Death is too easy a penalty for those folk. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      nonnie9999, Rippen Kitten

      They deserve to live the remainder of their lives in the worst hellhole our prison system has to offer.  Just IMHO.

      Never In Our Names "all you have to do to qualify for human rights is to be human."

      by possum on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:37:47 PM PDT

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      •  I know iit sounds like male posturing (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        nonnie9999, possum, Rippen Kitten

        and maybe it is. But I know that if anyone hurt my wife our daughter they better pray I don't get my hands them before the cops do.

        "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

        by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:44:32 PM PDT

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        •  I agree with that. (5+ / 0-)

          I have the knowledge to make suffering last a long time before death.  Comes from a medical background along with the tools to make it happen.  That person would be a lot better off for not meeting.  Other than in protecting my family, I am the ultimate pacifist and peace monger.

          Never In Our Names "all you have to do to qualify for human rights is to be human."

          by possum on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:47:36 PM PDT

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        •  I feel the same way (7+ / 0-)

          and I am a woman so it isn't male posturing. If we raised women to feel they have the right to defend themselves as young girls instead of raising them to be prey for attackers by stripping them of their voice and power starting in childhood--it would help the culture of violence.

          I remember in my youth being in situations where I was more worried about offending an abuser than asserting my God-given right to defend myself or my friends.

          This is a uniquely human and socialized thing. Female animals will defend to the death for their life and their offspring. A woman defends herself and she ends up in jail. Like I said earlier, treated worse than animals.

          "Even if you are in a minority of one, the truth is still the truth" Ghandi

          by crushie on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:48:46 PM PDT

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          •  One of the main reasons I made sure (4+ / 0-)

            I taught my daughter to fight. Also I feel that some sort of martial arts or self defense should be mandatory for girls in high school if not sooner.

            "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

            by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 02:55:58 PM PDT

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            •  By the way I hope I don't sound like some (5+ / 0-)

              militant a**hole. It's just that until we can solve this inequity between the sexes, "gender wars" or whatever you want to call it. As a father and parent I want to do everything I can to make sure my daughter isn't victimized.

              Actually I'm a pacifist myself and I believe that voilence is a poor way to settle anything. But I'm all for self-defense when it's necessary.

              "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

              by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 03:19:46 PM PDT

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          •  That's a bit hyperbolic. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            possum

            Girls are encouraged to defend themselves all the time.  A woman defending herself (or even initiating violence) is far less likely to go to jail then a male denfending him self.  Domestic violence doesn't happen because women don't know how to defend themselves.  There are mental health issues, there are issues with the partners not knowing how to be in a relationship (and not knowing how to spot a relationship that is going to evolve into DV), and issues with dependence.  

            •  I guess we're all prone to a bit of hyperbole (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              tryptamine, possum

              from time to time especially when we're not quite sure of what words to use. But I still believe that anyone male or female who is taught to defend themselves are less likely to be a victim of violence. If for no other reason than they are less project themselves as victims.

              "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

              by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 05:05:10 PM PDT

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              •  Knowing how to defend oneself is useless in a DV (5+ / 0-)

                situation, because any sign of violence in an adult partnership is a really, really good sign that it's time to leave the relationship.  Partners that stick around to defend themselves (and some partners do) generally end up in a very unhappy situation.  Also, many DV situations involve drugs or alcohol or guns, which make self-defense almost impossible. A girl who has a good sense of what adult relationships look like, a good sense of herself, and economic resources independant of her parner is less likely to get into a DV situation, regardless of whether she knows how to defend herself or not.  

                •  Have to agree with you there (3+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  tryptamine, nonnie9999, possum

                  I was raised in a household were DV was a common occurance do to my father's alchoholism. And then I had to watch my sister go from one abusive relationship to another. I know what it's like to feel totally helpless to stop what was going on.

                  The only defense for DV is to stop the cycle of abuse. Which in most cases involves getting out of the abusive situation and into a safe environment (I could say all but such situations but absolutes rarely if ever apply). It's the main reason I don't drink because I know that most people raised in such an environment tend to perpetuate that cycle in their on relationships. Something I refuse to do in my own life.

                  But as far as rape and other forms of violence weather it's men or women at least a basic knowledge of self defense can save lives. And one of the most effective lessons in self defense is to be aware of your surroundings and don't present yourself as a victim. This is not an absolute or guarantee by any means but it does reduce the risk of violence dramatically.

                  "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein

                  by Wes Opinion on Thu Apr 05, 2007 at 09:08:37 PM PDT

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            •  Isn't it? (4+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              tryptamine, crushie, nonnie9999, possum

              Schools don't distribute mace to women, or pepper spray, or knives, or anything that might possibly allow them to fight back.

              They distribute whistles, and expect students to learn self-defense techniques on their own time.

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