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View Diary: The Grieving Room - a weekly support diary (79 comments)

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  •  THANKS FOR THIS DIARY (16+ / 0-)

        My mother died a month ago at the age of 86. We were caught off guard because she had been in reasonable good health. We thought she had got pneumonia and took her to the hospital.  We found out that she had stage 4 lung cancer and it had spread to the adrenal glands.  I am in denial, because I have left her room exactly as she left it. Her purse is still in the front couch in the living room.  I keep waiting for her to return and have been running myself ragged to avoid the emotional storms that are coming. I feel them now, but in waves. Events like the loss of life at Virginia Tech, affect me deeply as do reports of soldiers dying in Iraq keep pouring in.  I am grateful to the core of my being, that I was able to take care of my mother before she passed away.  She had a good spirit and a kind heart and I will miss her beyond measure.  My dad passed away about 8 years ago and now I am an orphan.  My sympathies goes out to Dem in the heart of Texas and I feel with you and hope you can find comfort and grace for your loss. This diary is a godsend and I feel grateful, because I usually write comments more than diaries. The stages of grief were also very helpful.  My condolences go out to the commenters here, to the students and families at Virginia Tech and to the soldiers dying and being wounded in Iraq and their families and to our great nation for the loss of her dignity in these past few years. One final note, I saw the movie of 9-11 with Nicolas Cage and balled intensely like a baby.  It was partly for the tragic loss of life for New Yorkers but mostly for my mother , God bless her soul. There is so much pain everywhere we look, it is overwhelming.

    •  Denial (10+ / 0-)

      The morning my mom passed (she died at 4 AM on Good Friday), the hospice nurse came and took out her lines and her catheter and all her drugs.

      The mortuary men came and took her body.

      The pharmacy guy came and took her bed and wheelchair.

      My step-dad and I vacuumed the living room, where her deathbed had been, and put all the furniture back the way it had been two months ago.

      When we sat down and looked around, it was like she was going to walk in any moment, from her workout or her choir practice, or something else she used to do regularly.  It was palpable.  

      Every afternoon, at the time I usually call, I reach for my phone and realize she won't answer.  I can still call my step-dad, but he doesn't need that constant reminder (my voice sounds just like hers on the phone, I'm told).

      Denial.  Works for me.  Sometimes.

      Thanks for your thoughts.   So sorry about your loss.  I imagine it still hurts just as much, even when when the loved one dies at the full age of 86.

      -6.63/-6.31"Giuliani...member of the New York, divorced, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-stem cell research, gay-friendly wing of the GOP." -Jon Stewart

      by Dem in the heart of Texas on Mon Apr 16, 2007 at 05:43:48 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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