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View Diary: (Update) Pretty Bird Woman House: Let's Unbury some Hearts (112 comments)

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    I really have a hard time with the generalization which is just speculation.

    Why do we say it is harder for men to ask for help? I think it's often much easier. Men tend to get believed and not dismissed. Women get blamed for the abuse they receive which is billed as just another flaw in their being and that they deserve it so they tend to hide it and not ask for help not just because to do so brings all new difficulties but because of the shame; we have to lay bare we are of the lesser born people. What's worse is those woman often have to ask for help from are male as well.

    I know this because I tried to hide it for 14 years as every attempt was marginalized, dismissed, ignored, or made worse not just through additional abuse for having had the audacity to expose the unspeakable but because it emboldened the abuser to have there be no consequences so he ramped it up, and then it also gave me more to do to satisfy those I'd confided in who felt I wasn't doing enough to save myself so deserved it (since they don't understand, nor bother to, the pressures that keep a woman so bound to a man -- in part because they can't fathom the lengths that man will go to in forcing her compliance such as threatening family, children, pets and more including the devastating economics).

    More so, a lot of the men who are battered are battered by other men.

    Mais, la souris est en dessous la table, le chat est sur la chaise et le singe est... est... le singe est disparu! -- Eddie Izzard

    by CSI Bentonville on Wed Oct 31, 2007 at 03:20:34 PM PDT

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