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View Diary: Oliphant: "Phase 2" of Kerry Counterattack To Begin (190 comments)

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  •  Plan of Action (4.00)
    The problem with articulating a clear and coherent plan for Iraq is that Kerry can't. He can say things like "Get the UN involved," but until he is actually elected and sworn in, he has no way of knowing just how willing the UN would be to work with a sane American president, or how much the situation may have changed by then.

    There are just too many variables in motion all at once for anyone to clearly articulate a detailed policy this far out, let alone someone who presumably would be bothered by deliberately BSing the public; and since he's not in charge yet, he can't go making any actual foreign policy.

    If he talks in vague generalities, his plan sounds a lot like Bush's by now. If he tries to be precise, all nuance will be seen as flip-flopping.  On the other hand, look at Bush's play: He speaks in high-sounding platitudes, not policies; so he has no policy positions to attack. All he has is his peculiar sock-stuffed flightsuit approach to looking like a bad-ass action figure. Boo-yah! Go America! Eat Hot Lead, Bad Guys!

    How can Kerry effectively attack that?

    Well, he could try pointing out that he, John Kerry, actually is a bad-ass war hero who jumped off a fucking speedboat to run straight at a guy with a rocket launcher, like some combination of Rambo and every gun-wielding private eye in television history; but bringing it uo himself would seem kind of like, you know, bragging, which Real Men don't do.

    So — let's think here — how can John Kerry get his Sgt. Rock Combat History mentioned constantly without bringing it up himself? If only... if only he could somehow get his opponent to keep bringing up Kerry's manly and heroic adventures in combat! That would be perfect!

    Oh, hold on. Wait. That would never happen. There's no way that he could possibly trick his opponent into constantly mentioning John Kerry running in slow motion into a hail of bullets while bright orange technicolor explosions go off all around him, plucking wounded soldiers from the jaws of death and tearing apart entire armed compounds with his bare hands while the music swells and lines of bright tracers arc across the sky and oooooh lookit that huge mother of an explosion over there did you see that guy go flying wow!

    Yeah, it's too bad that there's no way he could possibly trick his opponent into reminding everyone that John Kerry is one hundred times the badass mofo that he is. No one would be that stupid.

    •  Wish I could give you a 5! (3.00)
      Your comment is very sharp, insightful, graphic and funny.
      Linking the Iraq-problem to SBVFT: Genius!!
    •  john kerry: SFTD (4.00)
      Well, he could try pointing out that he, John Kerry, actually is a bad-ass war hero who jumped off a fucking speedboat to run straight at a guy with a rocket launcher...

      yup. works for me.  back in january people were saying kerry would be a "seven-foot tall dukakis." well, he wasn't my first choice either, but after hearing all about his time in vietnam i'm becoming more and more convinced he's actually a seven-foot tall du-KICKASS.

      get US troops out of iraq and into sudan

      by zeke L on Tue Aug 24, 2004 at 11:14:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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