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View Diary: Book Review: Matt Welch's "McCain: The Myth of a Maverick" (64 comments)

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  •  Five Blind Folks and an Elephant (0+ / 0-)

    (at a press conference)

    John McCain:    "Blue is the third color in red, white and blue. It is also the color of our valiant law enforcement agents. I have long believed - even when it wasn't popular - that blue drapes are appropriate for as American an office as the White House."

    Jim Luton, Republican advisor:    "Blue is the Democrat color, sir. You wouldn't want people to think you betrayed your party, would you? The word treason might be very bad for you indeed. May I suggest red?"

    John McCain:   "Red drapes would be appropriate, befitting America's traditional republic form of government."

    Agnes Knowles, retiree from FL:    "Red drapes! Gracious, I never thought I'd see red drapes in the White House. Those reds shot my little boy. Why not green? My grandson is in the military."

    John McCain:    "Oh, um. Red communism was a dire threat to global freedom. Green would be suitable, since it is the traditional color of the guarantors of freedom."

    Robert M. Foley, Wendy's manager from OH:    "Green drapes in the White House! Unbelievable! This is just what those eco whackjobs want, you know, for the President to endorse their terroristic agenda."

    John McCain:    "My friends, I am certainly not an eco whackjob. Purple drapes, I have always been a firm supporter of purple drapes - even when it wasn't popular to be. Because I have principles."

    Jack Thompson, professional nut:    "Purple drapes, eh? Don't think we don't know what that means, Mr. McCain. Don't think we don't know about your clandestine support for the homosexual agenda!"

    John McCain:    "No drapes, then! It will be a symbol of the transparency that will be central to my administration!"

    ???, undisclosed official:    "With all due respect, Sen. McCain, we have a saying in the Pentagon: don't write checks your ass can't cash."

    John McCain:   "Well - I served in the United States Armed Forces, and I have always, always been a firm supporter of having drapes."

    Robert M. Foley:    "Mr. McCain, you are so principled."

    Agnes Knowles:   (sighing)   "Ronald Reagan."

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