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View Diary: About My Jealousy of Gays (48 comments)

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  •  Not often, but I think you should hear straights (1+ / 0-)
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    New Aeon For Change 93

    discussed that way more often.

    Because I think - I really honestly do - that there are lots of straight people who choose to be straight.  That is, they are sexually probably pretty polymorphous but the path of being straight is just so much more available, so much easier, that they choose it.  In a different culture, with a different set of options or rewards/punishments, they might choose to partner with someone of the same sex.  Or to have partners of both genders.  I really do believe this to be true.  So I wish we would start calling heterosexuality a preference.  I certainly know many women who will admit that they experience it pretty much that way, as a fairly weak preference that they suspect could turn out to be no preference at all under different circumstances or in the face of a particularly compelling potential partner of the same sex.  Women and men may be very different in that regard.  Men may experience their sexuality more often as a clear orientation.

    Just sayin'

    The festive scenes of liberation that Dick Cheney had once imagined for Iraq were finally taking place -- in cities all over America -- Frank Rich

    by Mother of Zeus on Sun Dec 21, 2008 at 08:04:36 PM PST

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    •  Even then I don't know (0+ / 0-)

      if you can call it a choice. I think you can choose to act straight and choose to delude and deceive yourself it being what your not. In so many cultures, being gay means a death sentence or severe persecution. I know that in Russia, until very recently in big cities, virtually everybody got married, had kids, but went for "walks" on Sundays to the park, had lots of "overtime.."  But in a lot of cultures, you don't even have that..try being gay in Zimbabwe, Afghanistan...you can fool yourself to believe many things when your life and livelihood are on the line.

      A fellow ain't got a soul of his own, just little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody - Tom Joad, Grapes of Wrath

      by gladkov on Sun Dec 21, 2008 at 08:14:06 PM PST

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      •  Well, I agree, but I'm not sure that (0+ / 0-)

        what you say really meets the substance of my comment.  There is no doubt that many people who clearly feel a homosexual orientation hide it or try to fool themselves.  And I think that we to some extent know that.  But I believe that there are many people who simply don't care a whole lot one way or another or who feel a weak preference but who are pretty happy to just choose whatever seems to work in the overall social context and also given the options that they've encountered in their lives.  Again, I reiterate that this may be a more typically female experience, although I've known two men who also reported that as their general experience and who - like me - really also didn't feel that "bisexual" was a particularly useful label for them.

        The festive scenes of liberation that Dick Cheney had once imagined for Iraq were finally taking place -- in cities all over America -- Frank Rich

        by Mother of Zeus on Sun Dec 21, 2008 at 08:28:03 PM PST

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