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View Diary: The Provencal Christmas and its 13 Desserts! (61 comments)

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  •  There's this one here.... (5+ / 0-)

    with some rum....

    Christmas Cake Recipe
    Ingredients

       * 1 cup of water
       * 1 tsp. baking soda
       * 1 cup of sugar
       * 1 tsp. salt
       * 1 cup of brown sugar
       * lemon juice
       * 4 large eggs
       * nuts
       * 1 bottle dark rum
       * 2 cups of dried fruit

    Instructions

      1. Sample the rum to check quality.
      2. Take a large bowl, check the rum again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
      3. Repeat.
      4. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
      5. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
      6. Make sure the rum is still OK. Try another cup.
      7. Turn off the mixerer.
      8. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
      9. Mix on the turner.
     10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
     11. Sample the rum to check for tonsisticity.
     12. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.
     13. Check the rum. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
     14. Add one table.
     15. Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
     16. Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
     17. Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
     18. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
     19. Throw the bowl through the f**king window.
     20. Check the rum again and go to bed.

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