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View Diary: Being authentic, on a Friday night (84 comments)

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  •  RL = real life (1+ / 0-)
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    rserven

    third gender is what rserven said.

    I just have never met a transwoman who didn't wear women's clothes, at least some of the time, personally speaking, or wear long hair or makeup.  

    I do know a transgender person, who goes by a guy name at the moment, but who has a feminine appearance.  It may be he is transitioning but if he is he hasn't seen fit to share it with me. (I use "he" because he goes by a guy name).  And it would be his business anyway, whatever gender he presents and when, then my appropriate response is to treat him as the gender he's presenting as.  I hope that makes sense, and helps a little.

    The wide universe is the ocean I travel And the earth is my Blue Boat Home

    by sberel on Sat Feb 14, 2009 at 10:34:58 AM PST

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    •  still don't know what 3rd gender means... (1+ / 0-)
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      sberel

      The person I describe wore work clothes that could be for men or women.
      Long hair, no makeup that I recall (but I am not very makeup aware unless it is shovelled on).  
      Guess I will have to live with the ambiguity...
      Thanks for the comments, sberel and rserven.

      I will mention that I did used to know one person who was in the process of transitioning, and was very open and verbal about it, sometimes I got even more explicit or detailed info than I wanted.  But it was very interesting and I tried to be as supportive and complimentary as possible of whom they wanted to be.  Just as I like people to be of me.

      •  What you describe is called androgynous. (1+ / 0-)
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        sberel

        That's a classification that fits some lesbians more than most other types of people.  My daughter and her partner fit that description.

        I would assume in that case that if the person wanted you to know, then the person would tell you.

        •  I agree with that, (1+ / 0-)
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          rserven

          In the final analysis, as much as you "want" to help, people choose for themselves who they feel they can trust.

          The wide universe is the ocean I travel And the earth is my Blue Boat Home

          by sberel on Sat Feb 14, 2009 at 11:18:10 AM PST

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        •  Actually, I think of androgynous as (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          sberel, rserven

          looking and acting as neither male nor female.
          Not to keep this going unnecessarily, but the person I am describing acted very "feminine" in many ways.  If s/he had not been so large, and masculine looking, I would never have considered that s/he was not a hetero female...

          And (in response to both rserven and sberel), I did not really want to "help" the person, nor did they seem to need any help.  I was mostly just curious, and would have liked to not have it as an even slight issue between us (on my side).  

          I hope they did not feel like they could not "trust" me.   It's not as though there was any secret about what they looked like.  My guess is that most people, at a glance, without interaction, would have assumed "male."

          Whatever.  Interesting to think about, thanks for the comments, and thanks rserven for your diaries.

      •  3rd gender/genderqueer (1+ / 0-)
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        rserven

        wiki appears sound, although the third gender article is confusing, because they talk about biological third genders, I would just ignore that.

        I have to say, I really only ever see this at assemblages of my religion, because I don't think the general culture is too welcoming.  The youth in particular seem to be interested in these modes of gender expression.  They are basically modes of gender expression that reject conventional categories.  HTH.

        The wide universe is the ocean I travel And the earth is my Blue Boat Home

        by sberel on Sat Feb 14, 2009 at 11:22:24 AM PST

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